Harness/Dildo Recommendations

Gotta say that I love your blog even if I'm not necessarily the intended audience.

I've got another question. I'm the "Phil" who loves to use strapons with my wife (Men Wearing Strap-ons). There are lots of strapons on the market. Lately I've settled on the Alias 6 inch vibrating strapon, occasionally using Doc Johnson a 7" vibrating strapon. But I would like to spice it up a bit and get some variety.

What strapons do you suggest? The ones designed as "hollow" don't suit as I have no erectile issues and generally don't fit inside which results in a "floppy" or not solid dildo, so I generally stay away from ones designed for men. My partner likes about the 6-7inch mark but needs it to vibrate strongly. What are your picks?

There is no one who is not my intended audience. My hope is that everyone can learn at least one new thing by reading my blog. So believe it or not Phil, you are my intended audience. And I'm very happy that you love my blog.

There are indeed a lot of strap-ons on the market and you sir are using crappy quality ones. I'm sorry to say it, but you're really getting what you're paying for. The cheap materials and lack of versatility make for bad quality sex toys. You should actually probably be using condoms with those dildos if you aren't already. Seriously, you can't really be sure whats in them. The truth is that the sex toy industry is a mostly unregulated one. Sex toys are deemed novelty items and therefore not intended to be put in your body. Awful, right?

So I can give you my recommendations, but they may end up costing you a pretty penny. But the good news is that the stuff I can recommend is going to last you a lot longer, will be a lot more body safe, and more versatile.

You shouldn't buy a strap-on, you should buy a harness and a dildo which ends up equaling a strap-on. You should be purchasing a harness that is compatible with many dildos. That way you can vary the cocks without having to have a million and one harnesses. Also, its a lot easier to take care of them if you can separate them. And let me just say that vac-u-lock sucks. Lets just get that out there. They use crappy materials and its basically a trick so you only buy their products since only one company makes them. *breathes*

Okay, that's been said. Now what I would recommend for a male bodied individual would be the Commando Harness because it leaves room for your junk and because its super versatile and comfy. It comes with 2 different sized O-rings that will hold your super fantastic new strap-on dildo(s). Another option would be the Crown Harness which sits higher up and out of the way of your junk. This one comes with 3 different O-rings which will allow for quite the variety in size of dildo. Or, if you're anti-leather you can try the Velvet Harness. The cushy backplate comes off easily in order to accommodate more space for your junk. Plus its nylon so it will be a bit easier to take care of.

Now for dildos you really want to be looking for one made out of silicone. They are a bit pricier but they will last a looooong time. Some of them even have lifetime warranties. They're also non-porous which means bacteria won't harbor in them and it is a body safe material. This translates to you not needing to use a condom with these bad boys. They are a-ok! Some options of vibrating silicone dildos:

• Buzz is a sleek purple silicone dildo measuring 6.5"x1.5"
• Echo is textured for some more interesting sensations. Size-wise it is the same as Buzz
• Prince is also a smooth silicone dildo, but the hole in the bottom where the vibe goes is bigger than the previously mentioned ones, which makes this one more versatile for using with other vibrators. Prince is also the same size as the previous two.
  
• Pink Panther is a smooth silicone dildo that looks nothing like a cock if you're interested in that. It is also a bit shorter and thinner than the previous dildos measuring in at 6"x1.25"
• Leo is a bit heftier of a cock measuring in at 7.125"x1.5." Leo is a very popular model and resembles a penis a bit more than the other dildos I've mentioned so far. I feel like he may actually a bit girthier than the measurements say though.
  
• Woody is fabulous in red and also looks more like a real penis than some of the others. This guy is a pretty standard 6.5"x1.5"

  All of these dildos come with a vibrator although they're not particularly strong vibes. One of my fellow sex bloggers, Red, recently reviewed a really powerful bullet that is the same size as the standard watch battery vibe that comes with all the above dildos, but is more powerful. Check out her review here. The one thing to keep in mind though is that while it would be more convenient to pull the bullet out of the dildo by its cord, that will shorten its life by a lot so it is inadvisable.

The thing is, is that bullet vibe is extremely expensive. I honestly haven't seen any bullet vibes that are that pricey (granted I don't spend much time looking at bullet vibes), but it seems a bit ridiculous. So what I'm thinking is that the regular vibe that comes with the dildo might be okay if your wife held a vibe on her clit while you're doing her. Not too many women need strong vibrations in their vagina unless they're not receiving clitoral stimulation. There are tons of vibrators on the market so its difficult to give recommendations since I don't really know what your wife likes. But luckily Babeland has a great guide for choosing a vibrator. But let me know if you need any more specific recommendations.

FemBlossom Heat Review

Its been many many months since Emotional Bliss sent me the Femblossom Heat to review. What took so long? They could not find any of the information I requested and I kept holding out in case they did end up finding it. But we'll get to that in a minute.

First, the specifications:

The Femblossom Heat is a rechargeable plastic vibe that covers the entirety of your vulva so that it can vibrate not just your clit, but your labia as well. It has 9 different speeds and patterns and along with those comes different levels of heat. It has a power button and up and down buttons so that you can peruse the different intensities. It also features an anti-bacterial agent that activates with water so that it can be uber clean.

When I had read about this magical heating up of the vibrator I had my doubts. After all, my Hitachi heats up if it takes me a long time to cum. I just assumed that this was going to be the case with this toy as well. The instructions, which told me to leave the toy running on its own for a few minutes before use, made me skeptical. Turned out I was wrong. The heat was specifically targeted on the areas that would be hitting my vulva and not on the rest. My hand would not overheat! Now if only they had made it so that you could control the level of heat without also changing the intensity of vibration. Its no secret that I like a super strong vibe, but it turns out that while I really really like heat (unlike cold), I don't like it to be super hot. I felt like the toy was going to burn my clit off! Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but still! I'd like some control over both heat and vibe intensity. Because of this issue it couldn't get me off . However, it was a great warm up (pun fully intended) to the Hitachi.

Another issue I had with this toy is that it felt awkward in my hand and the controls seemed a bit unintuitive. Granted, if this was a great vibe I would take the time to learn the controls and damn the awkwardness in hand! I mean seriously, the Hitachi is extremely heavy and bulky, but I rarely complain about how it feels in hand.

And then there's the name! Femblossom? They also make a toy called the Womolia. *Wretch* Is this second wave feminism back in full force? Did I fall into a time warp? Its just all so 'love and embrace your womanhood.' And while I agree with that mentality, I don't feel the need to talk about masturbation as "emotional bliss." I masturbate, I fuck myself, I cum. Emotions need not apply. Maybe I'm just too blunt for the flowery words. They just don't appeal to me. I feel like the names are targeting a much older audience. You know, like my mom.

But one of the biggest issues I had, and the reason that this review took so long, was because of this anti-bacterial agent business. Supposedly when water hits it it magically acts to kill all bacteria. They say they have studies to back this up. However, when I requested information from them about these studies or even access to the studies themselves I got nothing. They apparently couldn't locate them. What I want to know is what this magical material is. Does it emit any sort of chemicals when it is in contact with wetness? Because you know my vag gets pretty wet at times. I just can't endorse a product if I don't know how it works and how safe it is.

The truth is that I really wanted to like this toy despite the awful name (it wouldn't be the first to have one and at least they were trying) and the fears of overheating. I was pretty excited when they contacted me to try it out. I had read some reviews of the Femblossom before and they made it sound pretty awesome. I'd had my eye on it. I like it when my entire vulva is vibrated and I love heat. Plus there's the rechargeable factor which is pretty awesome and with the high price tag I assumed this was going to be a pretty awesome luxury type toy. Call me disappointed.

Toys for the Honeymoon

Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, "What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?" Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I'm pretty sure I've decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:

Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don't really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.

Frank: He's a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.

Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.

Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn't you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.

Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.

Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.

Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.

Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I'm talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.

Middle row:

Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I'm trying out for Babeland. We've given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.

Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?

Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.

Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn't get all over everything too!

Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.

Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I've never played with these before so I thought they'd be a fun way to get into the play.

Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.

Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain ...

Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can't see whats coming. Mwahahaha!

Bottom row:

Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I've played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!

Heart Paddle: I don't know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.

Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don't care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.

Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.

Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We're talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife's favorite. Its like a part of her by now.

Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can't see it. Taking that too.

So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.

I'm Back!

Woo that was a longer break than I really meant to take! Sorry about that. I'm coming back now I swear. I have a lot more time and energy to devote to the blog again.

The wedding went fabulously! So glad we were able to pull it all off. And because everyone keeps asking, no, married life isn't really any different. Still happy as clams! (That's us about to walk down the aisle on your right side.)

I will start answering questions again very soon! So sorry to those of you who sent me questions before the break. They might not be the timeliest of answers, but I will get to them. And everyone else, please send me questions so I can keep this blog going.

But first, I wanted to add a little addendum to my last post. I told you that I'd keep you updated on my thoughts of the acuvibe mini and I definitely have new feelings about it.

I was wrong (it happens sometimes). The acuvibe mini is NOT better than the hitachi. It comes in a close second for sure, but definitely not the best. I was quite happy with it until one night of drunken hornyness. I'm of the opinion that just because I have whiskey clit (or in my case martini clit) doesn't mean I shouldn't still be able to cum. The acuvibe just could not deliver the power necessary to wake my clit up. I tried, I really did. But in the end it was the hitachi magic wand that won. My good old reliable hitachi. How could I ever have doubted you?

Better than a Hitachi Magic Wand?

Less than 2 weeks to the wedding! Talk about stress! And what is a better cure for stress than orgasms? Can't think of a damned thing!

Ok folks, I really never thought I'd say this. Like seriously, never in a million years did I ever think these words would come out of my mouth/from my fingertips. I think I found a vibrator that is better than the hitachi magic wand. Only time will really tell, but my first impressions are just "Wow!!"

If you're a hitachi addict like I am, you'll understand how often pointless it seems to try new vibrators when you've already found the best. But then I met the Acuvibe Mini and my world has changed. It is so much smaller and lighter than the hitachi. So many nights of frustration with the hitachi because of its heft and size seem to now have been for no good reason. How my hand and wrist would ache from holding the enormous vibe and how frustrating it was on cold nights to masturbate under a blanket. And then there is the cord, which always keeps you close to outlets meaning on vacations you sometimes end up masturbating on the floor of your hotel room instead of the bed. And other times you are just frustrated because the cord just never seems long enough or has become twisted around the bed post.

No more need for frustration! The Acuvibe Mini is so small (only 8" compared to the hitachi's 12") and lightweight in comparison and its rechargeable so you will no longer need to be near an outlet. It only has one setting, but its very comparable to the low setting on the hitachi, which has the deep rumble that a girl like me craves. The head is not as big as the hitachi, but it has a curve that nicely cradles me in all the right spots. And unlike the rechargeable cousin to the hitachi, the Ideal, this baby doesn't rattle and distract you from that awesome orgasm. It's not whisper quiet, but it just sounds like a loud vibrator like the hitachi does.

Possible downsides include:
- If only the high setting on the hitachi can get you off, this one won't work for you.
- If you're addicted to all those attachments for the hitachi, this also won't work for you. The attachments won't fit on the smaller head of the Acuvibe mini and I haven't seen any attachments made for it yet.
- If you don't like the jackhammer strong vibes like the hitachi you will HATE this vibrator.
- And really the only downside to me personally being that it has a bright blue light on when its charging. Not a big deal, I just cover it up with a towel.

I have a feeling this vibe won't last as long as the hitachi since it is rechargeable, but its so rare that any vibes last that long anyways. It does come with a one year manufacturer warranty though. I will keep you all updated as its use continues to let you know if I find any flaws, but here's hoping that I have actually found a vibrator that outranks the hitachi.

Eco Delight Kit

Maybe you couldn't find that perfect present for that special someone or you didn't get what you really wanted this year from Santa/Grandma. Well this is THE perfect gift! Babeland sent me this amazing Eco Delight Kit, which in some ways is very similar to their Eco Sexy Kit which I reviewed several months ago. But in other ways it is so much better!

It still includes the massage candle and the Mamba condoms. For reviews of those, just click on the links.

In addition to these, the kit also includes a different lube, toy, and a fabulous way to package it all up. And, in my opinion, they also manage to make it more eco-friendly.

The lube is one of Babeland's own called Naked. It is an organic lubricant that is supposedly infused with herbs and claims to be 100% natural. I don't know about any of these things, but it isn't tested on animals, has no parabens (a preservative), and contains vegetable glycerin which fewer women seem to have problems with. It also amazingly enough tastes good. Usually when it comes to lubes I aspire to no taste at all because the lubes that have flavor tend to taste chemically and super sweet. This has a very light lemony vanilla flavor that actually tastes pretty darn yummy. It's also a pretty thick lube so it would be good with heavier play and should last a pretty long time. On top of all that it comes in a glass bottle, which is more environmentally friendly than the plastic bottles that most lube comes in.

The toy is the Delight, which like the Laya Spot in the Eco Sexy kit, is also made by Fun Factory. And if you haven't heard of the Delight yet you really need to learn more! This is a favorite of many sex toy owners and with good reason. This toy is gorgeous looking and performs fantastically. It is ergonomically shaped so that it hits your g-spot and clit at the same time and also has a perfect handle for you to grab on to. Now keep in mind that not all women are shaped the same, so it might not work perfectly for all women, but I've heard very few complaints. The toy vibrates in both parts but the controls are not separate. This may be my only real complaint about this toy. I personally prefer stronger vibrations on my clit than in my vagina so I couldn't get the vibrations just right for me. However, if that's not a problem for you, this toy is great. It offers several different speeds and vibration patterns, which is very similar to the laya spot. The toy is also made out of hard plastic and silicone so it is non-porous and body safe. And whats even better about it is that it is rechargeable! Another huge point on the eco-friendly scale: no batteries needed! You just place it in its matching case to charge.

Being the dork that I am though I have to admit that my favorite part of the whole gift set is the gift bag it all comes in. It is made out of recycled paper and wildflower seeds so that you can actually plant it in your backyard and watch it grow. How cool is this!?!? I'm actually debating whether I should plant this or regift it to share with someone else who will think it is super cool.

I loved the original Eco Sexy kit, but I gotta say that the Eco Delight Kit blows the original out of the water especially when it comes to eco-friendliness.

Hitachi Attachments

I have a question for you. Well, a few questions actually. Let me start with something simple.

I am in the Army Reserve and currently deployed to Iraq. Not long ago I got my wife a Hitachi Magic Wand. She doesn't want to use the head it came with to cum with. She says that's meant just for "normal" massages, like on your shoulders.

So, does the Hitachi Magic Wand require a special or separate head piece to use between the legs? Can the default head be cleaned? Could it be covered with something and still used as a sex toy?

The Magic Wand is like the best sex toy ever! So good job on buying your wife a great product. The Hitachi definitely does not require any different head pieces or attachments for it to work its magic. Because it is only used for external stimulation there isn't so much worry about the difficulty of cleaning the head because there shouldn't be too much danger of infection. To clean it you can use a soapy washcloth or an old toothbrush. Toy cleaner sprays or wipes can be pretty convenient for this toy since you really don't want to run it under water directly. However, there are attachments out there that are easier to clean. And as any hitachi lover knows, the only thing better than a hitachi is a hitachi with attachments.

If she only wants clitoral stimulation from her hitachi I would suggest getting an Off With Your Head which replaces the current head with a silicone one. Silicone is a great material that is non-porous and super easy to clean unlike the original hitachi head.

If she is interested in internal stimulation as well then I would suggest getting either a Gee Whiz or a Gee Whizzard. Both of them are silicone and fit over the original hitachi head and they both provide g-spot stimulation. The Gee Whizzard is just a bit fancier (extra bumps) and a bit longer than the Gee Whiz. Depending on how far in she goes with it, she should be able to get clitoral stimulation as well. Also of note is that both of these attachments can also work with the Ideal, which is like a rechargeable cordless version of the hitachi for when you'll be nowhere near an outlet. I've met camping lovers desperate to find a replacement for their hitachi when they're out in the wilderness and they are ecstatic when I tell them about the Ideal.

And please, keep those questions coming!

Babeland Sale!

Just wanted to give you all a heads up on the sale going on over at Babeland right now. They have Vixen Dildos and several other items on sale at 20% off. That's a steal! Click here for the goods. Sale goes through the 11th.

First Vibrator

This wasn't a question in my email, but it is a question I get every day that I work at Early to Bed and often via instant messengers while on the computer. The question is "What would make a good first vibrator?"

Sex toys are super hot right now. Everyone is buying them and more mainstream companies (like Durex) are starting to sell them. There are so many sex toys on the market that it can seem really overwhelming to a first time buyer. This is especially true when you don't know what companies make good quality toys and which make shoddy toys with great advertisements that make you think they're better than they are.

Well here are a couple tips.

1. Don't spend a lot of money on your first vibrator. This is a starter vibe that can help you learn what it is you like exactly. If you spend $80 on your first vibe and you find out you don't like it your experience of sex toys is going to be a frustrating one. I really recommend spending $30 or less. You can spend more once you get to know your body.

2. Find a vibrator that either has at least 3 speeds or has an adjustable wheel to control the speeds. This way you can find a vibration that you enjoy. Maybe you like light tickly vibrations or maybe you need a deep powerful vibe. Unless you've experimented with your electric toothbrush or a back massager there's no real way to know. Some suggestions of cheap vibes with lots of vibration control include: a silver bullet which I reviewed in a previous blog; a silk touch egg which not only has different speeds, but also different pulsations; or a slimline

3. As the last toy on that lists suggests, you may also want to get a toy that offers internal stimulation. Some women really enjoy internal vibrations, while others find it a strange feeling. The nice thing about these though is that you can turn the vibrator off and just use the toy as a dildo. This way you have two toys in one; it vibrates your clit and you can also use it for penetration. A great option would be a blueberry buzz which you can even take in the tub with you or if you're interested in g-spot stimulation you can try an orchid g.

4. Buy a vibe that you think looks like fun. If you're intimidated by it you won't want to use it and you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Vibrators are wonderful things that I believe every woman should own (as well as many men), but you need to take it at your own pace.

5. Shop at feminist sex toy shops that care about you and your health and feel free to ask lots of questions. That is what the staff is for. For more information on these types of stores consult my blog on sex toy shops

6. Finally, some shops even carry a kit specifically for first timers. Early to Bed has this first timer's kit which includes a silver bullet, small insertable vibe, a fun animal sleeve to go over the vibes, a small bottle of lube, and even batteries so you're all set right when you open it up.

Remember to have fun! Sex toys are one of my favoritest things in the whole entire world and hopefully you'll enjoy them just as much as I do.

Sex Toys 101 Kit

This month's Babeland toy review is the Sex Toys 101 Kit. It contains 3 sex toys (the Nubby G, a Silver Bullet, and the Little Flirt) a book about sex toys, a lube sampler pack, and 4 AA batteries.

First, the toys. I had never actually tried a Nubby G before even though it is one of the more popular yet cheaper toys on the market. The toy is made out of jelly which is a cheap porous material. It is relatively low quality, but for the price you really can't complain. Babeland told me they were sending me their new Nubby G which was now phthalate-free, but the box says nothing about that so I can't say that it actually is. The toy is angled for g-spot stimulation, which it does pretty well. But overall I have to say that I was not very impressed with this toy. Even though I don't like internal vibrations they aren't a big deal because I know a lot of women enjoy that, but it had other flaws which I felt were unforgivable. First, the nubbies for which it is named are not the soft pliable nubs I thought they would be. They were hard and pointy and not at all comfortable. Secondly, the platform which the nubs were on are probably supposed to hit one's clit, but either both mine and my girlfriend's anatomy are completely different from all women or this toy is just not designed well because you have to work on angling the toy in what I believe is the wrong direction in order to get it to hit your clit. That's a BIG drawback. One upside though is that the vibe is relatively quiet and yet still pretty powerful. Overall this toy seems to get mixed reviews. It seems people either love it or they hate it. I gotta say I hate it though and I really doubt I'd recommend it to anyone.

The silver bullet, on the other hand, is pretty much a requirement for anyone who owns sex toys whether you're a collector or just starting to buy them. It is a very simple, cheap vibe that is really versatile. It can be used during masturbation or partner play and it is really unintimidating for those of you who find sex toys a little scary. Bullets are made of hard plastic so they are non-porous and you can use sleeves on them to add a little more fun and some of them will even fit in cockrings. You should NEVER use a bullet internally though. I've seen it done in some porns and it makes me really nervous.

The Little Flirt is a silicone butt plug made by Tantus. It is a perfect butt plug for beginners. It is very small and easy to keep inside. Tantus does a great job of designing sex toys that really work well with the body by using the best materials and really caring about its customers. And the best part about it is that it is super easy to clean. Silicone is non-porous and can be boiled, washed with soap and water, put on the top shelf of your dishwasher, bleached, you name it. If you're looking for a first time butt plug I highly recommend this one.


The book, Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide, is well written, informative, and has beautiful artistic pictures of sex toys. However, the downside of a book like this is that the sex toy industry is becoming more and more popular and moving faster than ever. That means that this book quickly becomes out of date. Even since its printing there are new sex toys out there that need to be covered that aren't in this book and there are other toys in the book that you'll have a really hard time finding. What would be nice is if they could have an online database of this kind of information that could be constantly updated.

The Lube Sampler Pack comes with 7 different lube pillows that you can try out. They may or may not be the ones on the site as they may substitute others if they run out. My pack was a bit different than on the site, but still included a great sampling of different lubes. If you're not sure what lube you'd like best, lube sampler packs are a great way of figuring this out. Its a lot cheaper than buying a big bottle of lube, deciding you don't like it, and then buying another big bottle of lube. (Speaking of lube, don't forget about the lube contest I'm having! Entries are accepted until 5/31.)

The kit also comes with 4 AA batteries which is always a nice touch. There's nothing worse than getting brand new sex toys and then realizing that you're out of batteries.

Eco-Sexy Kit

Speaking of high quality feminist sex toy shops, here is another review of a kit that Babeland sent over for me to review.

The kit is The Eco-Sexy Kit and includes a Laya Spot vibrator, a massage candle, matches, Emerita Natural Lube, and 3 Mamba Condoms.

The Laya Spot is an ergonomic, battery-operated, hand-held vibe made by Fun Factory. Fun Factory is a company that sex toy lovers should keep an eye on. They are a German company that makes high quality, innovative, colorful, fun sex toys. The Laya Spot is no exception to this. It comes in lots of different colors; mine is lime green and magenta. It is made out of elastomer which is durable, hypoallergenic, and soft. It is porous so it can't be sterilized but this is not as big of a concern since this toy is only for clitoral stimulation and can easily be wiped down with soap and water.

But enough of the technical details. What you really want to know is how this toy performs. With 8 different speeds and 4 different pulsations almost anyone is bound to find a setting they enjoy. The controls take some getting used to, but after you figure them out (the toy comes with a manual) they are pretty intuitive. And unlike many vibes on the market that shut off when you keep pressing the button to make the vibe go faster, the Laya Spot does not turn off after you've hit the highest speed. As far as intensity goes, the Laya Spot is pretty good for a battery-operated vibe, but if you're used to a plug-in like the Hitachi Magic Wand it will only be good for a warm-up. The Laya Spot is great for partner sex as it is easy to hold and small enough that it won't get in the way. This is a high quality sex toy that would make a great addition to anyone's collection. Or am I the only one who thinks of sex toys as collector's items?

If you have never heard of or tried a massage candle you absolutely must go out and get one. I first started hearing about these little wonders a couple years ago and absolutely love them. If you don't know, massage candles are made out of soy wax which melts at a lower temperature. Light the candle for a few minutes, blow it out, and then pour the melted wax/massage oil onto your partner for a nice warm massage. Because the wax melts at a lower temperature, the wax is not scalding hot like most candle wax. One thing to keep in mind with massage candles is that they will stain your sheets so put an old towel down under your partner before giving them a massage.

Babeland carries these candles in a variety of scents including Chocolate Hazelnut, Mango Vanilla, Mojito Peppermint, Rice Flower, and Jasmine Ginger. I received the Chocolate Hazelnut, which smells really good, although a bit strong for my sensitive nose. The one thing that I did not like about this candle was the taste. I'm not saying you should be able to eat the stuff, but if you want to kiss your partner in the places you massaged earlier it is preferable for it to have either a nice taste or barely any at all. These massage candles taste awful. There are massage candles on the market with a better taste to them. If this doesn't bother you though, these candles are wonderful. Sending matches along with the candle was a nice touch.

The water-based lube that came with the kit was Emerita Natural Lube with Vitamin E. Emerita is a woman-run company based out of Portland, OR which seems to focus mostly on health and wellness products for menopausal women. I don't know about its claim of being natural (at least one of the ingredients cannot be found in nature), but I do know that natural doesn't always mean better. It is paraben-free, which is a preservative that may cause reactions in some women. It does have glycerin which some believe can cause yeast infections for women who are prone to them. Glycerin also leaves a sticky tacky feel after the lube dries up. It has vitamin E in it, which if you like that is fine. I personally think that additives like this are silly and unnecessary, but if you think they make a difference then that's great. This lube is of a medium thickness, which may make it ok for anal play and it is long lasting. It has an odd smell to it and its taste is a little on the sweet side from all the sugar alcohols in it. This wouldn't make it into my top favorite lubes, but I do like supporting woman-run businesses.

The Mamba condoms are, according to Babeland's website, "produced by a well-regarded Swedish non-profit whose testing process is 15 times more stringent than any other condom company in the world!" Sounds promising. I wasn't able to try them, but I have a male friend who will be comparing these condoms to a Babeland condom and his usual Trojans in an upcoming blog.

All in all, a pretty great kit, but what about this "eco-sexy" part Babeland is claiming? What makes these products more socially and environmentally-friendly?

Well, Fun Factory vibes are durable so they should last a long time, meaning that you will be creating less waste by buying fewer vibes. Their packaging is also a lot more environmentally friendly than many sex toy companies that like to wrap their toys in big plastic blister packs. Fun Factory toys are wrapped in a small amount of plastic which consists of pollution-free PET material. They are then housed in cardboard boxes that are sized perfectly for the toys. The packaging even reminds you of how to dispose of batteries in an environmentally-safe way.

Not sure exactly how the massage candle is "eco-sexy," but it is most likely vegan. Although I have not found anything that claims it to be so, so don't quote me on that one.

Emerita is a woman-run company, which we love and they claim that the lube is vegan and not tested on animals.

The condoms are made by a non-profit company with a higher standard of safety than any other company. Keeping the world disease free and doing it all without the goal of making a ton of cash in the process is definitely eco-sexy. Plus the company is in Sweden which is a very liberal and peaceful nation.

Valentines Day Gift Idea

So it is less than a week from Valentine's Day and you still haven't gotten that special person in your life a present. What are you going to do?

Buy them a sex toy! Sex toys make incredible presents for your spouse, girl/boyfriend, fuck buddy, best friend, siblings, or even for yourself. Babeland has a variety of different gift kits that you can choose from. They quite generously sent over 4 of them for me to review. Now there is absolutely no way I'd be able to test all of them out before Vday, but I chose the one kit that I thought would make a great gift for any woman out there, whether she has never had a sex toy or owns several.


That kit is the Bunny Love Kit. This kit contains the ever famous rabbit habit. Even better news is that this favorite has been updated with a new elastomer material that is latex and phthalate free. That means less allergic reactions and the toy is non-toxic. Elastomer is porous however, so it is important to clean it well and you can always use a condom to lessen the risk of infection.

Another new feature is that the rotating pearls are now attached to the mechanics of the toy and don't tumble randomly. This has pros and cons. Pro: a more consistent feeling. Con: If you have strong PC muscles you may stop the rotation of the pearls or even break the mechanics of the toy. Eek!

The rabbit habit is a favorite among women because it has a lot of stimulation going on at once. Some women even swear by it. The clit, the g-spot, and the opening of the vagina are all stimulated at once. The vibrating, clit-stimulating rabbit has a stronger vibration than one would assume from a AA operated toy, but it still does not hold a candle to the plugins like a hitachi magic wand. So if your special woman normally uses a powerful vibrator she may not get as much joy from this toy as many women do. However, it is relatively easy to turn the vibrator off, turn the toy to the side, and use a hitachi along side the rabbit habit for a rather powerful orgasm.

This would hardly be a kit if it only came with the rabbit habit. It also includes a 4 oz bottle of Babe Lube, a 6 oz bottle of Babeland Toy Cleaner, 3 AA batteries, and one Babeland condom.

First, the lube. Babe Lube is a water-based lube that is glycerin-free and has no taste or odor. Glycerin-free means that it is less likely to cause yeast infections and is less likely to get that icky sticky feeling once it starts to dry. It is a pretty thick lubricant which makes it ok for anal play. These are all great things, but the big downside to this lube is that it dries quickly. It doesn't leave you with the sticky feeling once dry, but you may have to reapply especially when using toys or during anal play. Unlike a lot of water-based lubes, when drying out you cannot refresh this lube with water or saliva. It does not bring the slipperiness back.

Sex toy cleaners, in my opinion, are unnecessary. That being said, many people like them a lot. I just feel that you're better off using soap and water.

The batteries were a great touch! I was completely out of AA batteries so it was nice not having to go to the store to stock up. I could open the box up, clean the toy, put the batteries in, and go to town.

The kit also came with a condom which is a nice touch for those who are worried about the elastomer being porous. It is a latex condom so those with latex allergies should not use it of course. I can't give a review of the condom since 1. I am allergic to latex and 2. Even if I weren't, my partner is a female so a real review is beyond my ability. Don't fret though! I found a willing young man to try out a few condoms for me and write a review up. So look forward to that.

So my overall feeling of the Bunny Love Kit is that the rabbit habit is great and is a good buy, but the rest of it I can take or leave. I'd say get the rabbit habit on it's own, a pack of AA batteries, and your own lube would make a great gift.

Watch for reviews of other Babeland gift kits in coming months that include: The Menage a Trois Fantasy Kit, The Sex Toys 101 Kit , and The Eco-Sexy Kit.

Anal Toys

Hey Garnet,

I was just wondering if you could write something on anal sex toys, particularly vibrators - no questions in particular, I'm just looking for an overview sort of thing. Thanks.

Well since there is no question in particular I will only be able to give a very basic overview of anal toys. If anyone is looking for something more specific you are welcome to email me questions about what you are looking for and what you have enjoyed or not enjoyed thus far.

When it comes to sex toys I have to stress the importance of quality. You really can justify spending a little more on your sex toys if you know you are going to be getting quality. Crappy sex toys break, don't work well, don't clean well, and often don't do what they really should. Some can even poison your body. Researching the companies that make and sell the toys can make a huge difference.

That being said, the things one should look for in an anal toy are pretty consistent across the board. It MUST have a flared base! This is not something you can overlook. If it does not have a flared base, it may end up getting stuck in your bum and that is a really embarrassing trip to the hospital.

Along those lines, only stick things in your butt that are made to go in your butt. This means, only sex toys for the butt should go there. Do not stick bottles, screwdrivers, flashlights, animals, small vibrators, dildos without flared bases, or anything else not intended to go up there in your butt.

Only buy anal toys that are of a good quality material. I highly recommend phthalate free silicone toys because they are hypoallergenic, non-porous (meaning bacteria can't hide in it), non-toxic, easy to clean (you can boil them, wash them with soap and water, bleach them, and they are dishwasher safe), and they last a long time. I highly recommend Tantus Silicone for all your silicone toy needs. You can find Tantus toys in many sex toy shops.

Also, do not buy anal beads that have the string in between each of the beads. That string is not easy to clean and can harbor bacteria.

If you do buy an anal toy that is not made of high quality silicone or you plan on using the toy in more than one orifice or on more than one person, use condoms and clean it often.

If you are buying a butt plug, it has to taper at the top otherwise it will be difficult to get it in unless you are very experienced. Tapered or not though, use a LOT of lube. Avoid silicone based lubes if you are using a silicone toy as they do not always react well together and avoid oil based lubes if you are using latex condoms over your toys.

When specifically looking for an anal toy that vibrates, I recommend toys that have a space for a cordless vibrating bullet. This makes toys easier to clean since you can pop out the bullet and emerse the plug or dildo in water without the worry of ruining the vibe.

If you are a beginner to anal play, always start small. You can move up later if you want, but it is more important that you don't damage the tissue in your anus by forcing a large toy in there when your anus is not ready for it.

Toy Reviews

Since I am still sick and need to focus what little energy I have on doing homework instead of writing blogs, I thought I'd link to a couple sex toy reviews I've done for Early to Bed. I should be up and running again soon hopefully, but until then enjoy the reviews.

The Orbit

The Surprise Massager