Harness/Dildo Recommendations

Gotta say that I love your blog even if I'm not necessarily the intended audience.

I've got another question. I'm the "Phil" who loves to use strapons with my wife (Men Wearing Strap-ons). There are lots of strapons on the market. Lately I've settled on the Alias 6 inch vibrating strapon, occasionally using Doc Johnson a 7" vibrating strapon. But I would like to spice it up a bit and get some variety.

What strapons do you suggest? The ones designed as "hollow" don't suit as I have no erectile issues and generally don't fit inside which results in a "floppy" or not solid dildo, so I generally stay away from ones designed for men. My partner likes about the 6-7inch mark but needs it to vibrate strongly. What are your picks?

There is no one who is not my intended audience. My hope is that everyone can learn at least one new thing by reading my blog. So believe it or not Phil, you are my intended audience. And I'm very happy that you love my blog.

There are indeed a lot of strap-ons on the market and you sir are using crappy quality ones. I'm sorry to say it, but you're really getting what you're paying for. The cheap materials and lack of versatility make for bad quality sex toys. You should actually probably be using condoms with those dildos if you aren't already. Seriously, you can't really be sure whats in them. The truth is that the sex toy industry is a mostly unregulated one. Sex toys are deemed novelty items and therefore not intended to be put in your body. Awful, right?

So I can give you my recommendations, but they may end up costing you a pretty penny. But the good news is that the stuff I can recommend is going to last you a lot longer, will be a lot more body safe, and more versatile.

You shouldn't buy a strap-on, you should buy a harness and a dildo which ends up equaling a strap-on. You should be purchasing a harness that is compatible with many dildos. That way you can vary the cocks without having to have a million and one harnesses. Also, its a lot easier to take care of them if you can separate them. And let me just say that vac-u-lock sucks. Lets just get that out there. They use crappy materials and its basically a trick so you only buy their products since only one company makes them. *breathes*

Okay, that's been said. Now what I would recommend for a male bodied individual would be the Commando Harness because it leaves room for your junk and because its super versatile and comfy. It comes with 2 different sized O-rings that will hold your super fantastic new strap-on dildo(s). Another option would be the Crown Harness which sits higher up and out of the way of your junk. This one comes with 3 different O-rings which will allow for quite the variety in size of dildo. Or, if you're anti-leather you can try the Velvet Harness. The cushy backplate comes off easily in order to accommodate more space for your junk. Plus its nylon so it will be a bit easier to take care of.

Now for dildos you really want to be looking for one made out of silicone. They are a bit pricier but they will last a looooong time. Some of them even have lifetime warranties. They're also non-porous which means bacteria won't harbor in them and it is a body safe material. This translates to you not needing to use a condom with these bad boys. They are a-ok! Some options of vibrating silicone dildos:

• Buzz is a sleek purple silicone dildo measuring 6.5"x1.5"
• Echo is textured for some more interesting sensations. Size-wise it is the same as Buzz
• Prince is also a smooth silicone dildo, but the hole in the bottom where the vibe goes is bigger than the previously mentioned ones, which makes this one more versatile for using with other vibrators. Prince is also the same size as the previous two.
  
• Pink Panther is a smooth silicone dildo that looks nothing like a cock if you're interested in that. It is also a bit shorter and thinner than the previous dildos measuring in at 6"x1.25"
• Leo is a bit heftier of a cock measuring in at 7.125"x1.5." Leo is a very popular model and resembles a penis a bit more than the other dildos I've mentioned so far. I feel like he may actually a bit girthier than the measurements say though.
  
• Woody is fabulous in red and also looks more like a real penis than some of the others. This guy is a pretty standard 6.5"x1.5"

  All of these dildos come with a vibrator although they're not particularly strong vibes. One of my fellow sex bloggers, Red, recently reviewed a really powerful bullet that is the same size as the standard watch battery vibe that comes with all the above dildos, but is more powerful. Check out her review here. The one thing to keep in mind though is that while it would be more convenient to pull the bullet out of the dildo by its cord, that will shorten its life by a lot so it is inadvisable.

The thing is, is that bullet vibe is extremely expensive. I honestly haven't seen any bullet vibes that are that pricey (granted I don't spend much time looking at bullet vibes), but it seems a bit ridiculous. So what I'm thinking is that the regular vibe that comes with the dildo might be okay if your wife held a vibe on her clit while you're doing her. Not too many women need strong vibrations in their vagina unless they're not receiving clitoral stimulation. There are tons of vibrators on the market so its difficult to give recommendations since I don't really know what your wife likes. But luckily Babeland has a great guide for choosing a vibrator. But let me know if you need any more specific recommendations.

Thigh Harness Review

Babeland sent me a thigh harness ages ago! I swear I haven't been slacking. Its just taken me awhile to figure out how I like to use it. Because at first it just wasn't doing it for me, but with something that is so extremely different from what you are used to, it can be totally worth it to continue exploring until you figure it out.

The thigh harness is made by Sportsheets out of neoprene. To use it, the wearer slips a dildo through the hole from the underside and then wraps the harness around their thigh, securing it with velcro. And then a happy person takes that cock for a ride.

Downsides:

• Only comes in one size so if you're a bigger person you may find it difficult to wear. My thigh is 26 inches and I wasn't able to wear the harness as high up as I would've liked.

• Can wear on the knees to have someone bouncing up and down on your leg really hard.

• Doesn't protrude from the crotchal parts so there is no real genital stimulation going on from the cock riding.

Upsides:

• Doesn't protrude from the crotchal parts so you are left wide open for your partner's hands or whatever to be stimulated by them.

• Great for those with limited movement or hard to reach crotchal areas. In other words, if you're fucking in a wheelchair, sometimes its easier to hop up and down on their thigh than try to figure out where your legs go in order to get you to their pelvis.

• Great for men with ED or who have a lady/man who just plum wears them out and they need a cock substitute.

• Can be totally hot to watch your partner get him/herself off while you watch!

• You can wear one on each thigh and please two people at once!

• Its machine washable.

So when I first tried this harness out I was disappointed, but that's because I found that I didn't like to use it in traditional pelvis harness ways. It actually feels a little ridiculous some of the time. Especially if the wearer is on top and just moving their leg back and forth. One just longs for the crotch stimulation for the wearer as well.

But then I gave it some thought and decided to try it during Domination/submission play. That turned out to be more my style! There are times when I don't allow any access to my body to my sub except for my feet … if she begs. By having her ride my thigh, there is the guarantee that I won't be getting any physical stimulation, although plenty of mental. And it affords me the luxury of having to do less work with my arthritic hands. Because it can be difficult to fuck someone with a dildo or your hand after you've just spent time beating them.

So if you decide to try out the thigh harness, don't give up. Try it with different positions and different types of play. I bet you'll be able to find a way to incorporate it and make sex more fun.

Toys for the Honeymoon

Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, "What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?" Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I'm pretty sure I've decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:

Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don't really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.

Frank: He's a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.

Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.

Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn't you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.

Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.

Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.

Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.

Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I'm talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.

Middle row:

Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I'm trying out for Babeland. We've given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.

Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?

Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.

Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn't get all over everything too!

Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.

Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I've never played with these before so I thought they'd be a fun way to get into the play.

Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.

Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain ...

Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can't see whats coming. Mwahahaha!

Bottom row:

Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I've played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!

Heart Paddle: I don't know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.

Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don't care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.

Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.

Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We're talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife's favorite. Its like a part of her by now.

Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can't see it. Taking that too.

So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.

Kegel Toys

So, I have heard time and again how important Kegels are for vaginal health. But I feel like there isn't much information out there about which sex toys help with Kegels, especially when it comes to pregnancy. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and am not high risk, so as far as I know there is no reason to avoid sex toys. While I know that you can strengthen Kegels without toys I would love to know what is on the market in various price ranges. Ideally a something that has more than just the propose of Kegels would be great. Do you have any ideas?

Yes, Kegels are super important! They are one of the best exercises anyone can do no matter what sexual equipment you were born with or have elected to have. For those of you who don't know what Kegel exercises are or how to do them, they are a way to tone your pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). The PC muscle forms the pelvic floor and when strong can help prevent incontinence, make orgasms stronger, and can help men to delay ejaculation if they desire. The way to flex this muscle is by squeezing the way you would if you were trying to make yourself stop peeing midstream. In order to figure out how to do it you can stop yourself from peeing a few times, but I don't recommend doing this regularly. The great thing about exercising your PC muscles is that you can do it anytime anywhere and no one will even know. You can do it at the grocery store, while talking to your boss, while pumping gas, while cleaning, etc. The possibilities are endless.

And you're right, doing them during pregnancy is a great idea. Having strong PC muscles will help you to give birth more easily by making it easier to push and lessening your chances of tearing during labor. You should also do kegels after you give birth as this will help get everything back into shape faster.

While exercise equipment is not necessary to do kegels, it can make it more fun. Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot of price range out there as you will need sex toys that are heavy and heavy materials tend to cost more money.

The cheapest option at about $28 would probably be Smart Balls. You insert one or both balls, leaving the string outside of your body like a tampon and you squeeze the balls with your PC muscles. For resistance you can pull on the string. While these can be fun, there is nothing orgasmic about them. Some people find them to be pleasurable, but there are other options out there that are more likely to get more of a rise out of you.

The other options I would suggest would be heavy dildos, often made out of stainless steel. These you can use during masturbation by inserting the dildo into your vagina and rhythmically squeezing your muscles around it towards orgasm. I highly recommend using a vibrator on your clit in conjunction with the weighted dildo. Here are some options of dildos that you can try, their weights, and their prices:
- Natural Contours Energie 1 lb $50
- Betty Dodson's Vaginal Barbell just under 1 lb $76
- The Kegelcisor just under 1 lb $84
- njoy's Fun Wand 12oz $88
- njoy's Pure Wand 1.5 lbs currently on sale for $91.80
- or if you're really hardcore there is njoy's eleven weighing in at 2.75 lbs and costing $300

These toys are all made of high quality materials so consider it to be an investment that will last a really long time. And while you can easily warm these stainless steel toys with warm water before hand, Betty Dodson (one of my heroes and the queen of masturbation and female orgasms) suggests starting with the dildo cold so that your muscles will automatically start to clamp around it. Also, be sure to use lube when using these or any dildos. All of these toys, with the exception of the Smart Balls, can be used with either water or silicone based lubes.

Ella by Lelo

Lelo is a sex toy company that everyone should know about. They make high end sex toys that are just plain fantastic. They have mostly made and sold vibrators that are made of high quality materials, are rechargeable, and come with an unheard of one year warranty. Many of their toys are highly innovative, like the Mia which charges via a USB port. Not only all that, but they're also a Swedish company and if you know me, you know I have a longing for Sweden in my heart and quite possibly my loins. But what bleeding heart liberal doesn't dream of living in Stockholm?

Anyhoo ... When I found out I might have a chance to test out a Lelo of my very own I became downright giddy. At this point I think I can be called a collector of sex toys. I own LOTS. And now it is about filling in the parts that I do not yet have. This includes types, materials, and brands. I need to have sex toys from all the top sex toy companies: Fun Factory (check), Tantus (check), Vixen Creations (check many times over), Vibratex (check), Lelo (new check), nJoy (sadly no check), Jimmy Jane (sadly no check).

Now I could've gone the traditional route and gone with a Lelo vibe. They have a lot to offer, but I am a Hitachi loyalist so while I do still get new vibes, I wanted my Lelo experience to be as exciting for me as possible. Luckily for me, Lelo recently released their first dildo, Ella. Until a couple years ago I actually only owned one dildo and I can't believe it took me so long to become a dildo enthusiast.

Ella is number 13 in my collection and she gave me even more reason for enthusiasm. I didn't think it was possible, but Ella has actually topped the list. She is my new favorite dildo. Ella is practically perfect.

Lelo calls Ella "a dedicated pleasure object" and I would have to agree. If you love g-spot stimulation like I do, you'll love Ella. While most g-spot toys simply bend in one direction so that you get a bit of g-spot stimulation as that one small spot goes back and forth over the sensitive area, the Ella has a whole flat surface that curves upwards so that that same spot is stimulated almost constantly. The result is pure heaven and quite possibly some ejaculation as well.

But maybe you're not ready for some g-spot stimulation yet and you want to warm up with the old in and out first. Ella has that covered as well! You can use either side of her so you can use one side for times when you want dedicated g-spot stimulation and the other side for when you want penetration without so much dedication to just one spot. The one downside to a double sided dildo like this is that it is not harness compatible. Like I said before, "practically perfect." But she is absolutely great for masturbation and partner play.

Now while Ella is perfect for me, I have to remind you that all women are made differently. Size queens will most likely not like this dildo. It is particularly small. Even I found it to be a bit lacking at times when wanting to flex my PC muscles around something when on the g-spot side.

Now down to the nitty gritty:
Ella is made of silicone which means she is non-porous and body safe. Normally I would recommend boiling your silcone dildos, but the instructions that came with Ella warned against exposing her to extreme temperatures. And well, I'm not exactly open to the possibility of ruining my new favorite dildo just so I can tell you whether or not she is safe to boil. So just use soap and water.

Ella is great for vaginal play, but I would not recommend her for anal play as she does not come equipped with a flared base.

Lelo offers a one year warranty on all of its toys and while that is fantastic on vibrators that have mechanical parts, it isn't such a great deal on silicone dildos. Silicone is a material that should last a lifetime and companies like Vixen Creations actually give you a lifetime warranty. The one year warranty just doesn't do a silicone dildo justice. Oh well. Hopefully it will never become an issue.

But even if it does become an issue, Ella is actually the cheapest Lelo product currently on the market at $44. What a steal! For a company that makes luxury vibes that range in price from $64 to $1500, I was actually really surprised that their first dildo was so cheap.

In other news, I bought a new computer recently so updates should happen more regularly now. Thanks for your patience.

Romantic Weekend Away

I'm going out of town this weekend to celebrate my anniversary with my wonderful fiance so no updates from me this weekend. I have been banned from using the internet except to check the weather and find good local restaurants. I'm sure we'll have a great time.

Some good news: I found out that I was wrong about those Babeland sale dates. Vixen Creations Dildos are 20% off through the rest of July! That's a good deal. Vixen Creations makes some of the highest quality silicone dildos. I recently picked up Raquel and I can't wait to try her on vacation! I bought some other goodies as well, which you may be hearing about in the future.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! I know I will!

Fisting

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Babeland Sale!

Just wanted to give you all a heads up on the sale going on over at Babeland right now. They have Vixen Dildos and several other items on sale at 20% off. That's a steal! Click here for the goods. Sale goes through the 11th.

Jollie

This month's Babeland toy review is the Jollie. I had had my eye on this toy for quite awhile because of some amazing reviews I'd read for it. Sure it looks a little weird, actually reminds me a bit of a slug, but that's part of its charm. I love new and innovative toys. This particular company is said to have taken a mold of a woman's vagina in order to create this toy. The shape is supposed to be able to tuck itself under the cervix, hit the g-spot, and rub up against the clit all at the same time. But here's the problem, not all women's vaginas are the same. When a toy is designed from one woman's vagina it may feel fantastic in many other vaginas, but not in all. And after all those months of mooning over this toy and wanting one of my very own I found that it was not made with my vagina in mind. Try as I might I could not get the darn thing in without causing pain. The sense of fullness that is promised is just too much for women with narrower vaginas. It would be nice to see these manufacturers make similar dildos in a variety of thicknesses and lengths for each woman's vagina.

But hey, if you don't have a narrow vagina don't let me stop you from getting this dildo. Seriously, I've seen some absolutely fantastic reviews and I really wish I could've added to them. Look some up for yourself and see all the women who rave about it. Also, this toy is made of a high quality silicone so it will last you a good long time and can be sterilized easily.

Menage a Trois Fantasy Kit

Time again for another Babeland kit review. This time I will be talking about the Menage a Trois Fantasy Kit which consists of a thong-style nylon-strapped harness that allows for double penetration (that is penetration of a woman's vagina and anus at the same time) and a Tantus red silicone dildo. The set also includes several metal o-rings of different sizes and one rubber o-ring.

First, lets talk about the harness. It is a nylon harness which means that it is pretty easy to care for and easy to adjust. The packaging says that the harness fits up to 60" hips. It is a thong style harness, which I was a bit disappointed by. I prefer the two strap style (or jock strap style as it is sometimes called) because it does not go up my ass crack. Now some people may enjoy having their genitals and ass crack rubbed by a thin piece of nylon strap, but I am definitely not one of them. I find that it causes irritation. No biggie though, I just wore my underwear under the harness to improve my level of comfort. Now the cool thing about the harness is that it can be worn by a man or a woman. The o-rings double as a cock ring for men or you can just slip another dildo in there if you are a woman. Your partner will have to be female-bodied for it to work effectively though.

The dildo that comes with it is silicone and made by Tantus which makes high quality sex toys. It measures 5" x 1-1/8", which is probably too big for someone who is just starting out, but would be great for someone with intermediate or expert level experience. Either way though, you should warm your partner up first with a finger or a smaller butt toy before sticking this one in.

Now while I usually put a lot of faith in Tantus products I have to say that this dildo does not meet my high standards for them. There are just a couple flaws in this dildo (not sure if they all come like this or if I was just unlucky) that I was unhappy with. First of all, the base is not completely flat on the bottom. It is slightly rounded, which isn't a big deal, but for me is a bit of a hassle. After I clean a sex toy and before I begin to use it I like to be able to stand it up on its base to keep it away from any surfaces which may have germs, dust, etc on them. When the base is not completely flat, the toy tends to tip over. Not impossible to work around, but annoying just the same. The second flaw is barely worth mentioning, but is still not the quality that I have come to expect from Tantus. The dildo has a bump and a couple of dimples on the head of it. Normally I see completely smooth dildos from Tantus. Despite these flaws though I am happy that it is a silicone dildo so that it is easy to sanitize, which is especially important for any toys going up the butt.

I don't know about this claim of feeling like you're having a menage a trois. I think that is a bit ridiculous, but if you or your partner enjoys hands-free double penetration then this toy is great. So far I've only tried it in the doggy-style position, which is what is recommended on the Babeland site, but it worked really well and the dildos seemed to be spaced perfectly for double penetration. The only real downside to this type of toy is that changing positions is a bit cumbersome since you can't switch from doggy to missionary or vice versa without switching dildos washing things off, or changing condoms.

There is one thing that I would have added to this kit that I'm actually surprised that Babeland does not include. Many of their other kits seem to come with a lubricant, but this one does not, which is surprising since it involves anal play which requires lube. Possibly reasoning for this would be that if you're using this kit you probably already have experience with anal sex and therefore have a lube of your own. I still think a sample of a nice thick lube like Maximus would have been a nice touch though.

Female Ejaculation or Squirting

I've received a couple emails asking me to talk about female ejaculation or "squirting." One email was from a girl who just experienced it for her first time and was curious to know more.

There is a debate amongst some doctors and other such people as to whether or not female ejaculation is even real. I say that any person or doctor who doesn't think it is real has just never experienced it. It is a very real phenomenon. Any female who has ejaculated or anyone who has had a female partner who has done so knows that it is very real, very fun, and also very messy.

So what is female ejaculate? Where does it come from? Why does it happen? How does it happen? What can you do to make it happen? Does it make for better orgasms?

Female ejaculate is a watery, musky, salty fluid that is expelled from a woman's urethra during sex. This fluid is different from vaginal lubrication and is most noticeable by its lack of slipperyness. It may happen during orgasm, but not necessarily. The amount that comes out can be anywhere from a few teaspoons to a pint or more.

Some people are freaked out by the fact that this fluid is expelled from the urethra and wonder how you can know that this fluid is not urine. Why is it that when a woman ejaculates from her urethra people question it, but when it happens from a man's urethra no one thinks twice? The fluid that comes out doesn't really resemble urine. It's more liquidy than a man's ejaculate sure, but it doesn't smell or look like pee. And more importantly, a woman can often have a full bladder even after she ejaculates. Female ejaculate has been tested and there are trace amounts of urea in it because it goes through the urethra, but it is not pee.

Female ejaculate comes from the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra. It is created by small glands nearby and stored in the spongy tissue until it is expelled either by ejaculating or the next time the woman goes to the bathroom. Some women may have noticed that their urine smells different right after they have sex. That's often because of the stored up ejaculate that their body is now getting rid of during urination.

Unfortunately, female ejaculation is not something that has been studied well so we don't really know whether all women have the ability to ejaculate or not, but it seems that most women do not do so without any kind of training. And because it is so rare, many women are actually pretty embarrassed when it does happen. But there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people actually find it incredibly sexy. Just make sure to bring extra towels to bed when you're having sex.

So what if you've ejaculated a couple times and you want to learn how to do it more often or you've never ejaculated and you're curious to see if you can? There are things one can try alone or with a partner to try to ejaculate. The most important objective is to be very turned on and to warm up for awhile first. The longer the play before orgasm and the more turned on you are, the more likely you are to store up female ejaculate in that spongy area around your urethra. Once you are good and turned on it is usually easiest to ejaculate through g-spot stimulation. This can be done a couple of different ways. If you have a partner helping you out, they can slide two of their fingers inside of your vagina and make a come-hither motion on your g-spot. (Hint: the g-spot feels a little rough to the touch compared to the rest of the smooth vaginal walls and is usually located behind her pubic mound, but not always. Don't just assume its location. It may be necessary to search for it with your fingers.) You can also use g-spot toys alone or with a partner. A toy that is a little firmer may work a little better than one that is soft and flexible. I always preferred The Archer. Any ejaculators out there who can recommend a good toy?

One thing to keep in mind is that you may feel like you have to pee, but that is normal. Most of the time when you are having sex your body won't let you pee easily. Just relax and learn to enjoy the feeling. It helps if you play with a partner you are comfortable with. That way if you do pee its not a big deal.

Somehow it got into lots of people's heads that a woman who ejaculates is cumming harder than a woman who does not. It is not true. Ejaculation doesn't have much to do with how hard a woman cums. There will be some orgasms that are explosive that are completely dry and sometimes a woman will ejaculate without ever cumming. So please don't think that female ejaculation will in anyway enhance your orgasms. It may make your sexplay a little more fun and exciting if it turns you and your partner on, but ejaculation itself isn't the meter for which to measure a woman's orgasm by. Try asking her how good it was and how you can make it better.

Toy Reviews

Since I am still sick and need to focus what little energy I have on doing homework instead of writing blogs, I thought I'd link to a couple sex toy reviews I've done for Early to Bed. I should be up and running again soon hopefully, but until then enjoy the reviews.

The Orbit

The Surprise Massager

Pyrex: Not just for bakeware anymore

Dear Garnet-
A friend wants to know the benefits and safety of using pyrex dildos.
-Dishwasher Ready Dyke ;)

I know a lot of people's first reactions to pyrex dildos is "Eek glass! I'm not sticking that in me!" This is understandable, but there is no reason for this reaction. Pyrex is the same stuff they make glass measuring cups and bakeware out of. You can drop it and it won't break.

This does not mean you shouldn't ever inspect your pyrex toy for chips or cracks. You should inspect all of your toys when you clean them to make sure they are in good working order. However, a pyrex toy is going to last you a long time; about as long as your pyrex measuring cup. Many other types won't last anywhere near as long.

So what is so great about pyrex dildos? Oh gosh where to start ... Well we already know they have long life. They're also nonporous, meaning that nothing will get absorbed into the material (germies or lube) so it is easier to clean and you'll need less lube. They are glass so you can boil them or stick them in the dishwasher to clean them. Pyrex toys hold temperature so you can stick them in the freezer for a cool treat on a hot day or you can warm it up in hot water to match the temperature of your vagina/anus/mouth. They are harder than a lot of dildos, which could be good or bad depending on what you prefer. They are pretty and often look like pieces of art.

The downside is that they are expensive. However, with anything of quality you have to keep in mind that you get what you're paying for. The pyrex dildo is going to last you a long time so it may be worth a little more money. There are also a few pyrex toys out there that are cheaper. The simpler glass toys will run you around $45, which is comparable to most quality dildos.

Keep your questions coming! I'm enjoying answering them.

DVDA

Here is the first question:

Is DVDA possible?

For those of you who don't know what DVDA is, it stands for Double Vaginal, Double Anal. It is when a female is doubly penetrated in both the vagina and the anus. This could be done with real cocks, strap-on cocks, dildos, or some combination of those.

I do not think it is possible with just cocks and/or strap-on cocks. The logistics of getting 4 people around one woman just doesn't seem possible. I have heard it compared to basket weaving. I have looked for it on the web and have not found any instances of it. If anyone has seen porn with it or has actually done it please let me know. I know double vaginal, single anal and single vaginal, double anal exists, but I have not seen full on DVDA. I think DVDA is just an invention of the folks who wrote Orgazmo.

The only way I see DVDA actually working is if at least one unattached dildo is thrown into the mix.

Words of warning for any type of double penetration: Friction can cause condoms to break especially if they are rubbing up against another condom or a dildo. Be extremely careful, use a LOT of lube, and take it very slowly. Also, if you feel pain do not ignore it.