Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Why Haven't You Transferred to the New Blog Yet?

Seriously. There's so much good stuff going on there that you're missing.

Check out everything I've been writing:
Analyzing Sexuality
The Sqweel
The Elusive Female Orgasm
Succu Dry: Once Bitten ...

And while you're there, subscribe to my feed through your favorite reader (I prefer Google Reader myself) or email.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

New Site!

Hey everyone AAG created a new site for me and transferred all 2+ years of this blog over to its own domain at AskGarnet.com. Check it out and let me know what you think. And while you're there please make sure to subscribe to the new feed or you won't be able to see any of my new entries. All new postings will be made there.

Also, if you currently link to me, please make sure you change the url to http://askgarnet.com. Thanks!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Pleasurists #63

In the Looking Glass by PerryGallagher

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #62? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #64? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then you can use our submission form and submit it before Sunday February 7th at 11:59pm PST.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #6

Editor’s Pick

  • The Forked Tongue by Sweet Tart
  • It is a short book: 124 pages, large font, wide spacing, maybe 30,000 words in total. And yet, unlike other books on similar topics, it does not feel like there is too little material. Rather, that Flagg is the master of brevity and precision. His is the pert aphorism, the cutting quote. He wields words like a surgeon wields a scalpel. As, indeed, he should: his topic is the use of language.

    Note: Not only does Sweet Tart do a wonderful job introducing a book to us in a well-written and concise manner (in perfect harmony with the book itself it seems) but The Forked Tongue sounds absolutely intriguing and slightly disturbing. They are both definitely worth a read!


Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…



Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.


Adult Books & Games

Adult Movies/Porn


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Monday, February 1, 2010

Choose Your Own Adventure: Porn Reviews

Ok so obviously the last porno I watched for XCritic was pretty awful. But the 5 that I was recently sent should all be pretty damn awesome. This makes it extremely difficult to choose which one to watch first so I'm going to leave it up to you.

1. Frisk Me starring Madison Young, Syd Blackovich, and Satine Phoenix. All of which are totally drool worthy!
We are under surveillance. And it’s so terrifying that it becomes… titillating. Step into a fantasy world where hand-cuffs and interrogation are simply foreplay. Where night sticks become sex toys, where Orwellian policing becomes protocol and a window for voyeuristic desires to be satiated. Where TSA agents do cavity searches that will have you screaming out in orgasms and begging the words “Frisk Me.” We are reclaiming terror and cultivating pleasure with anal orgasms, female ejaculation, blow jobs, hot dripping wet sex, and BDSM. So what are you waiting for? Aren’t you going to Frisk Me?

2. Speakeasy starring Billy Castro, Dallas Fivestar, Lorelei Lee, and Jiz Lee.
Detective Billy Castro descends into the world of porn noir as he investigates an underground queer club filled with handsome transmen and femme fatales. While on a stakeout, the private dick witnesses Jiz Lee and Dallas Fivestar perform passionate suspension with ejaculation, as well as the bartenders tending to each other. After fighting for a chance to dance with the lovely Lorelei Lee, our gumshoe gets more than a mambo during their table-top tryst. Shot on location in an actual speakeasy bar, award-winning director Courtney Trouble worked with videographer Morty Diamond to capture the feel of the 1940s, as well as the queer fetish and fearlessness of our own era.

Courtney Trouble's "Speakeasy" Trailer! from Courtney Trouble on Vimeo.

3. Mandy Candy starring Mandy Morbid and Kimberly Kane.
Ever been so close to Mandy Morbid you could taste candy?  In this trip, you’ll witness her true sexual appetite.  From the dirty streets of Hollywood to fancy hotels in Beverly Hills, Mandy picks up desperate little runways and orders up sex like room service.  See Mandy exploited just the way she likes it, by award-winning fuck director Kimberly Kane, who demands the nastiest sex acts be carried out with no hesitation. How deprived can Mandy get? Just put this candy in your mouth and SUCK.

4. Seven Minutes in Heaven: Coming Out! starring Tina Horn who may just have one of the best asses ever and also starring a bunch of people I've never heard of, but who look fucking hot.
Reality porn is coming out of the closet in this first ever gonzo queer film. Award-winning director Courtney Trouble invites 7 diverse, fresh-faced performers to a kinky slumber-party for fun and games… only tonight there are no rules, no limits and no bedtime! The amateur cast picks their own partners, their own sex toys and their own ways of getting off. Spin the Bottle inspires an unscripted fuck-fest and first-time fantasies come true during a Truth or Dare strap-on sex scene. With honest video confessions, authentic orgasms and natural bodies, Seven Minutes in Heaven is the real queer deal.

5. Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality starring Dylan Ryan, Tina Horn, and Aiden Starr.
Discover the fluidity of sexuality. Part documentary, part pornography, this film from award-winning director Madison Young is more than the sum of its parts. These women are deconstructing words and labels to define sexuality on their own terms. During in depth interviews, Dylan Ryan, Aiden Starr, Tina Horn and Amber Keen discuss their personal journeys into the world of queer, bisexual and pansexual identities. Sex scenes then allow them to fulfill their fantasies and create intimate connections with men and women. They give it and get it the way they want it; with hot threesomes, delicious blow jobs, female ejaculation on the roof top and a circle jerk in the kitchen. With its courageous, creative and carnal cast, Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality will stimulate you both sexually and intellectually.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Review: Alone For You

Another porn review of mine is up at XCritic. This one is another AbbyWinters.com production, but from their masturbation line. Here's a little snippet:

There is no plot here. Its just women who set up cameras and then masturbate in front of them. Sound good? Well its not. Its amazingly boring. There are 9 women in this video and they all masturbate in extremely similar ways and even 8/9ths of them are brunette. By the end you're not really sure you would be able to tell these ladies apart. That is if you make it to the end. Somewhere around the middle I started to come up with a list of realistic things I rather be doing with my time. Realistic because no one would really rather get a root canal than watch really boring porn. However, I would rather do the dishes, clean my room, go to my boring ass accounting job, hang out with annoying people for a few hours, watch porn that isn't hot at all but is at least funny or entertaining, read a textbook, or do my taxes. Several of these things I actually did do instead of watching the porn because it was torture I tell you. And it isn't that I don't like watching people masturbate. I definitely enjoyed ...

Read More

New Blog

I've started a new blog. Yes, I am crazy. Did you not know this? Even though I don't really have the time, I have started a new one. This is going to be a bit different and a lot more personal. It'll kind of be like my sex blog, but my version of a sex blog because I always have to be complicated like that. The new blog is over at XCritic and I've written my first post in which I describe exactly what the purpose of the blog will be. Check it out. I hope you enjoy the new read! There is a link at the bottom of the page that lets you subscribe to the feed.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

e[lust] #6

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #7? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Exposing My Self to Airport Security - I stared right at her until she looked away and called for assistance for a pat-down search.  I gaped, chin dropped: holy shit, they’re gonna give me a pat down cuz I’m packing a silicon cock.

Prefect’s Prerogative - When I neglect this duty, or don’t perform it to his satisfaction, he makes me light a fire in his room, and stand in front of it in just my school shirt and white socks.

Attention Women: There is Something Wrong With Your Vagina - Yes, that’s what your vagina needs: a breath mint. Because, just like vagina shouldn’t smell like vagina, it also shouldn’t taste like vagina.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

The Perfect Fat Why do clothes designers assume that if you’re plus-sized you’re 1. over 5′9″ and 2. over the age of 45 or “matronly and modest”? At the age of 32 I am not yet ready to dress like my grandmother.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Zipless - “I have some Scotch in my room—maybe you’d join me? You know, in the interest of not drinking alone…” She smiled. Perhaps she could yet salvage the day’s ending.

See also: Pleasurists #61 for all your sex toy review needs.
Also in recent sex news
, check out the coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo that happened in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. You’ll see videos and articles from our fellow sex-bloggers on fun things like a rodeo penis and new sex toys not even on the market yet!

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Arousal is not consent
Psychosexual: Does the G spot exist? Do I care?
Reputable Help for Haiti
That’ll be 151 Nickels
The Case of the Mysteriously Vanishing G-spot
Transtastic: Joking About Being Trans
Vegas – Day One – Diva’s Quick Recap
Vegas – Day One – Tess’s Thoughts
Why Don’t They Just LEAVE?

Kink & Fetish

Anatomy of a Mindfuck
Bad Submissive
Claiming: Go Pantiless After
Dating Refresher
Electric fuck
Fetishes and me
Kinky With Class
Laziness never pays off
Piercing reversal
Titty Fuck
The Coffee Date, Part 2
The Job Interview
Without Reason

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

BDSM Relationship Advice for Newbies
Greedy For The Verse
Hang Ups and Hand Jobs
Ivy Madden
If she had just been a better wife…
The Sexiness Beneath

Erotic Writing

A Different Kind of Fuck
Across the Room
All in a Play Party’s Night
Amazing Night
Bedtime Story
Behind You
Breathe and Let Go
Done by a Clown
Evening Home
Lick You As Long As You Like
Moments of Clarity
Naughty Neighbor
Saturday Night’s Alright (For Swapping)
Sex and Video Games
Slip sliding away
The Slut Chronicles #11 ~ The Dinner Party
Visitors in my Bedroom
Wicked Wednesday: Altitude
When you Talk About Maelee

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hard Time Getting Wet

Hi! So I lost my virginity to my boyfriend a few months ago (I'm just over 18) but we haven't had sex since. We've tried, but it really really really hurts when he tries to go in. It might be because I'm not wet enough? We used lube the first time because, yeah, I wasn't wet enough. I just can't seem to get wet when we begin the foreplay and I don't know why? Please help.

If you haven't read my post about painful sex after losing your virginity be sure to read it. I address a lot of the possible issues there. But I wanted to do another blog post that specifically focuses on the subject of vaginal lubrication which you say might be the reason the sex is painful.

First of all, every woman is different. Some women get really wet, but may not feel particularly aroused while other women may be so aroused that they'll hump the closest thing that vibrates (washing machine?), but they'll be really dry. And then of course there is everyone in between.
There are many reasons that a woman may or may not get wet and those can differ throughout her lifetime. Some of these may include: 

  1. You were made that way: Its just genetics and there's no changing it. If you were to ask your mother she might site the same problems with vaginal dryness.
  2. Hormones: As our menstrual cycle changes so does our body. You may have noticed other changes in your body as well. During ovulation vaginal lubrication becomes waterier so that it is easier to get pregnant. And as many women get older menopause can turn their vaginas into the Sahara Desert. 
  3. Medication: A lot of different medications have side-effects. Some of them can cause vaginal dryness. The main culprits are anti-depressants, hormonal birth control, anti-histamines, and decongestants (they don't only dry out your nose). 
  4. Diet/Exercise: Your overall level of health effects natural body functions. In general, the healthier you are, the better your body functions.
  5. Hydration: If you don't drink enough water you are going to have a harder time producing the wet stuff.
  6. Life: Life throws curveballs. So much that goes on in our day to day can really effect us. Stress, depression, sleep deprivation, pregnancy, lactation, and menopause can all effect your ability to lubricate.
  7. Drugs/Alcohol: Sex and drugs just don't mix. That being said, there can be some exceptions to this rule. Smoking pot has been known to help with Anorgasmia, but that's another post for another day.
  8. Latex: You all should be having safer sex! And latex actually dries a vagina out. Add extra lube to make things more slippery and fun and also to prevent the condom from breaking.
Some of this stuff is changeable, some of it is not. And lets face it, sometimes you want to have sex when you're drunk. In these cases, and in really any case, lube is a fantastic option. Lube makes everything better. There are 3 main types of lube:
  1. Water-based: Most lubes are water-based and these tend to be the easiest to find and are often cheaper than some other types. They are condom compatible and easily wash out of sheets. If water based lube dries out, you can add more lube or add some water or spit to rejuvenate it. Look at the ingredients list on lube bottles before buying them. Try to avoid stuff like fragrance, glycerin, honey (actually saw this one in a certain type of KY), and flavors. Flavored lube is really only for external use (i.e. oral sex and rim jobs). Recommendations: Liquid Silk, Maximus, Slippery Stuff, or if you have a lot of allergies SliquidH2O
  2. Silicone-based: Because these are not water-based they do not wash away, which makes this a great option for shower sex, but also means that it can stain your sheets. Lay a towel down before using silicone lube. A lot of people love that silicone lube doesn't dry up as fast as water-based lubes which means a little goes a long way. They may be more expensive, but it ends up evening out in the end. Just remember that you can't use silicone-based lube with most silicone sex toys, but they can be used with condoms. Recommendations: Pink, Pjur, and Gun Oil. Some silicone lubricants contain aloe. This can make them dry up a little faster than the ones that don't.
  3. Oil-Based: Oil-based lubes should really only be used for masturbation. Men can use them to jerk off with and women can rub a little bit of oil on their clits. These lubricants DO NOT belong inside a vagina and they will degrade a latex condom making it useless. Therefore I will not make any recommendations on this one.
If you can't decide what will work best for you, many sex shops carry lube sampler packs that will have small 1 or 2 time use pillows of their bestselling lubes. Babeland, Good Vibrations, and Early to Bed all have great samplers.

Related Reading
1. We Waited Until Marriage
2. Staying a Virgin
3. Flaming Lube!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Trust Women

Today is the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and the 5th annual Blog for Choice event. For the Past 5 years NARAL has been asking bloggers questions related to the right to choose in order to raise awareness for reproductive rights and ask what they mean to us. This year's question is:
In honor of Dr. George Tiller, who often wore a button that simply read, "Trust Women," this year's Blog for Choice question is:
What does Trust Women mean to you?

To me, trusting women is about understanding that we can make our own informed decisions. We do not need to be coddled. We do not need to be told misinformation in order to make the "right decision." We do not need to be forced to look at ultrasounds of the fetus to make a decision that we've already thought long and hard about. We do not need to be ordered by a court to do what is best for us and our families. If kids are given comprehensive sex education they will be given the tools with which to make informed decisions about sex and family planning. Women will have the ability to prevent unwanted pregnancies and to plan families if and when they want to. We need to help women to be able to make the right decisions for them by helping everyone to be educated about sex and sexuality.

I also think that part of trusting women is listening to their stories and having more women coming forward with them (if they so choose) to show that they make hard decisions that are right for them. Abortion especially is so demonized and we normally only talk about it in terms of rape or incest cases, but what about the rest of the women out there who get them? So many women feel like they can't come out and share their stories because they do not want to be demonized or judged for making a decision that was right for them. That was why I shared my story back in August soon after Dr. Tiller's murder. Read it here.

Related reading:
1. STIs and Sexual Responsibility
2. Contraception
3. Can you Get Pregnant from the Withdrawal Method?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

If you Google it, I will Answer #2

I love seeing how people get to my site. And sometimes they inadvertently find my site by asking a question I never answer here. That makes me sad :( So in the interest of getting people's questions answered I will respond to questions I see people googling to get here.

Does more body hair equal better sex?

There is no simple sex + n = better sex equation except maybe where n=communication or enthusiasm, but I don't consider those to be simple since they're done in so many different ways. So no, body hair doesn't equal better sex unless your partner is into Bears. And if that is the case, then by all means don't shave anything ever again.