Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Shit Happens

So, last night I had some pretty good sex. My guy came over after work & took a shower so he was all squeaky clean. So we have sex for an hour or so & then I start playing around with him with my hands & he gets really into it. He likes anal pressure but no penetration or anything. I have ample lube & he is a very happy boy. Now here's my issue... keep in mind he had just showered. I have an unbelievably sensitive sense of smell. There was a little more anal play/pressure than usual but like I said no penetration since hes not into that.....I could um, smell it. I could kind of ignore it but it wasn't something I'd like to repeat often b/c of that. Now this isn't an issue for him or anything...I go down on him plenty & there's NO odor issues. I guess it's just b/c I was playing around there? He enjoyed it SO MUCH though. So the question do I avoid that next time? The smell thing that is & WTF is that about? Yikes.

OK here is the thing about butts, now everyone say it with me: "Poop comes out of your butt." If you're going to be going in or around someone's butt you may have to deal with poop. As they say, 'shit happens.' There are ways to try to avoid poop, but if you're going to play with the butt there is no way to make sure to 100% avoid it. Its like pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections: If you don't want them you have to abstain from sex all together, but there are precautions to lower your risks. Because lets face it, sex and butts are hella fun!

The facts about pooping:
Poop (such a funny word!) is pretty much formed in the large intestine and then goes into the rectum where it is stored for a short period of time. When we go to the bathroom to relieve ourselves it comes out of the rectum through the anal sphincter. And no matter how good we wipe ourselves afterwards there is always a chance that some of that fecal matter stayed in the rectum and/or just inside of the sphincter. And it often slowly works its way out.

This is why bidets are awesome! Its sooo much easier to clean yourself well with water than with tp. That being said, as showcased by your man, its still not always enough to do the trick. Because fecal matter can get trapped in that area I mentioned before we need to actually work our finger into the sphincter a bit to try to clean it out. This is especially easy to do in the shower. Just relax and slowly apply pressure around your anus and the tip of your finger will go right in. And voila a clean bum!

If the stink butt keeps happening you may have to talk to your man about how to properly clean his rear end. I know this can be a somewhat uncomfortable topic, but approach it gently without talking about it being gross. Just talk about how you like to poke him in the butt, but sometimes its a little stinky and you just want to make sure you're getting him as clean as possible so its enjoyable for both of you.

There's also the possibility that he may not have been feeling at the top of his game, but still wanted to mess around with you. I think we've all been there. Sometimes you don't realize until its a little too late that maybe it wasn't the best idea. If it hasn't happened to you yet, I guarantee it will at some point.

So above all, I'd say have some compassion and a sense of humor. If he's usually a pretty clean guy and a smell or a little poo comes out now and again don't hold it against him. You may be on the other side of that at some point.

Also, if you want to keep things clean I'd highly suggest picking up some latex or neoprene gloves. They're pretty cheap and keep a barrier between your hands and his poop. Just remember to use lots of lube!

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