Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, "What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?" Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I'm pretty sure I've decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:
Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don't really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.
Frank: He's a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.
Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.
Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn't you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.
Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.
Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.
Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.
Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I'm talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.
Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I'm trying out for Babeland. We've given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.
Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?
Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.
Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn't get all over everything too!
Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.
Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I've never played with these before so I thought they'd be a fun way to get into the play.
Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.
Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain ...
Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can't see whats coming. Mwahahaha!
Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I've played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!
Heart Paddle: I don't know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.
Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don't care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.
Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.
Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We're talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife's favorite. Its like a part of her by now.
Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can't see it. Taking that too.
So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The amazingly talented Tristan Taormino recently sent me a copy of her newest porn, Rough Sex, and I loved it!
The premise: Different women desire different types of rough sex. Five different female porn stars get to come up with and act out a rough sex fantasy with the male actor of their choice. I love that every one of the five women has a different idea of what rough sex entails. And even more importantly, I love that there is a lot of emphasis on choice and control by the women. Normally, when I see rough sex in porn it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't know if the woman is actually enjoying what she is doing or if she's just in it for the paycheck. In this movie though we get to see the women consenting in their interviews. Each scene begins with one of these and includes the woman talking about what kind of rough sex she likes and why she picked the guy she picked. The men also get their chance to talk about what they like about rough sex as well. And then we go straight into the scenes.
Adrianna: Breaking and Entering
In the first scene we open with Adrianna Nicole taking a shower. She's got a great naturally curvy body that looks hot all soaped up. She gets out, dries off, and brushes her teeth. At one point she bends over and we see she has a butt plug firmly in her ass. I love foreshadowing! I also love that they show that she was prepped for anal sex. Because in real life, unlike porn, you have to warm up to that!
Marco Banderas, the actor chosen because he is passionate and has an obvious love of women, sneaks up behind her and tells her to shut up. At first Adrianna resists Marco's attempts at fucking her, but soon she gives in and seems to be very into it. Adrianna's idea of rough sex involves very little talking and there really is barely any. Eventually they make their way into the bedroom where there is much fucking and a Hitachi Magic Wand makes a star appearance.
This scene was probably the tamest as far as roughness goes. I actually felt like this was more like a couple role playing at home instead of porn stars going at it, which I loved. The scenes weren't scripted so there was some slight fumbling around, Adrianna was a very active player, and really what guy breaking and entering (and raping you) allows his victim to pull out a hitachi? Love it!
In the second scene we have the incredibly beautiful Satine Phoenix stranded in the desert with her broken down jeep and Derrick Pierce coming to the rescue.
I have to be honest here. I don't like Derrick Pierce. He always comes off as a total douche bag to me. He's the kind of guy that I would go out of my way to avoid at a party. I kept trying to tell myself that Satine picked this guy and that she was actually really into the whole thing and had even done scenes with Derrick before and really enjoyed herself. The way she talked about him definitely showed that she was very into him. I tried so hard! But because Derrick gives me the heebie jeebies I just couldn't get into it. But he's also a great pick. He does what he does very well. He is very good at being a sadistic bastard. And when that's what you want, you call Derrick in for it.
So the scene starts with playful flirtation leading to some messing around. Satine gets on her knees and starts giving Derrick a blowjob and that's when things take a turn. He starts forcing her to choke on his cock, slapping her around, scratching her, dishing out orders, and degrading her.
Unlike the first scene where Adrianna was obviously into what was going on, Satine is wincing and screaming. In the end Derrick makes her beg to cum and then makes her lay in the dirt while he cums on her chest. He then leaves her there; a broken down woman next to her broken down jeep.
Had this been an actor I liked more I think I could've gotten into this scene, but because I don't like Derrick I just couldn't enjoy it.
Francesca: Taking Over
To offset all the submissive women, the third scene has the petite Francesca Le dominating the giant teddy bear of a man Christian. And just like I don't like Derrick, I really like Christian. He just seems like a sweetheart.
In this scene Christian is a corporate asshole who pays no attention to his lovely housewife, Francesca, and she is sick of it. She changes into a hot little corset number, hangs up a phone call that Christian is in the middle of, and dominates the hell out of him.
Christian can take a hell of a beating! Francesca degrades him, spits on him, makes him lick her shoes, chokes him with his own belt, smacks his cock, ass, and pecks, shoves his tie in his mouth, and whips him. This is what I needed after the last scene! I'm a total domme and I needed to see a woman in power to make me really happy. The fact that she's a tiny woman beating the crap out of a giant guy made me even happier. The only thing that I felt like this scene was missing, and what would have made me happiest of all, was if Francesca had queened Christian. And by queening I mean sitting on his face, but I wanted more than just that. I wanted her to suffocate him with her pussy. You always see women choking on cock in mainstream porno, but what about some good old fashioned pussy asphyxiation? I wanted her to grind her cunt into his face so hard! We can all dream, right?
And in the end when Francesca finally lets Christian cum they snowball. Awesome!
In the fourth scene Julius Ceazher figures out that his girlfriend Marie Luv has been cheating on him when he finds a condom wrapper near the bed. He confronts her, they fight, and he makes her show him her pussy to see if she's been fucking around that day. This turns into a pretty rough sex scene with some really great positions. I was wowed by the creativity of the positions! Seriously, most of the time when a man is dominating a woman it seems like there are only a few positions in the playbook, but this scene had a lot of different ones. He was just throwing her around like she weighed nothing! However, I would have liked there to be more dirty talk and degradation. The scene really called for it and that's what Marie had requested. Beyond that though they seemed to be having a great time. They definitely had some amazing chemistry. And Marie seemed to be pretty blissfully happy afterwards.
They really saved the best for last on this one. Tristan Taormino even recently tweeted that this is one of the best sex scenes she's ever shot. And for me its just a sex positive feminist's wet dream.
We start with the self-described pain slut, Sasha Grey, and her choice of actor, the adorable Danny Wylde, playing pool and discussing what they do want and what they don't want from their rough sex encounter. Its fantastic to see people actually just discussing these things instead of hoping for the best. People say that this makes sex lose its spontaneity, but I say fuck spontaneity if it means that I can't have fantastic sex that I control. And when it comes to rough sex, setting boundaries is extremely important.
And then the extremely hot sex begins. These two have chemistry! They LOVE fucking each other and it shows. They're having fun. There's choking, smacking, and intense fucking. Danny starts as the dominant one, but they end up taking turns and it works really well. They both beat and degrade each other.
Some of the things that I strongly dislike about mainstream porn were just not present in this scene which made me almost gleeful. I hate the rigid gender roles and homophobia in mainstream porn where you can do whatever you want to a woman's ass, but god forbid you touch a man's ass. Sasha eats Danny's ass! And it is HOT! We're talking Danny on his hands and knees being forced to say "Yes, mommy I'm your little bitch" and moaning.
But the best part of all is when Danny accidentally crosses one of Sasha's borders. In the beginning she didn't have a whole lot of don'ts, but her big one was no tit slapping. Danny got really into the moment and slapped Sasha's tit. He knew instantly that he did something he shouldn't have and he apologized. Sasha made him pay by shoving her foot down his throat, making him gag. He continued to apologize and then all was good and they continued with the hot sex.
In the end there is another snowball and then they have a somewhat ridiculous smacking fight, which just goes to show you how much fun they were having.
There's a behind the scenes which I always enjoy watching. I liked seeing Tristan planning out scenes with the women. I liked that once again I got to see that Satine had a ton of fun and I just suck because I don't like Derrick
There is a choking safety tutorial by Penny Flame that is super valuable if you're going to be engaging in rough sex. OMG I learned really valuable stuff here! DO NOT SKIP THIS!!!
There's a safer sex tutorial, which I've noticed in a lot of the Vivid flicks. Definitely valuable stuff about condoms, dental damns, gloves, and lube. Although I think the glove tongue thing is a little awkward personally. (You'll just have to watch it to see what I'm talking about.)
And then there are some trailers and whatnot that I honestly didn't bother to watch.
Overall, I loved this movie! Such a strangely novel concept to have women designing their own sex scenes. I wish more porn directors would do this. The women were all beautiful and the men were all attractive (even Derrick). There were people of color and somewhat varying body types. The film featured mostly natural bodies, but I did spot one pair of breast implants. There was a lot of very real chemistry going on between the actors and it made for some awesomely hot sex. There was some music, but mostly you just get the sounds of fucking, which are probably what you really want in a porno anyways. Just wish that I could've heard more of the degradation talk, which was so much softer than the screaming.
In the next installment (its a series! Awesome!) I'd love to see some pussy asphyxiation ... or maybe that's just my fantasy ... I'd also like to see a little less semen worship. At the end of several scenes the man cums, action pretty much stops, and the women make love to the semen. I find it to be a little odd honestly. But maybe that's because I'm actually allergic to semen and always had to run off to the bathroom after sex so I could wash it off.
If you want to get this movie you can buy it from Tristan directly here or if you need to see this movie NOW you can get video on demand check out HotMoviesForHer.com
Check out the trailer:
Monday, October 19, 2009
Babeland recently sent us a packing strap made by Aslan Leather. A packing strap is used to keep the bulge in place by transmen, genderqueers, drag kings, and those who like to play around with gender (including just dressing up for Rocky Horror). Because the last thing you want is for your cock to fall down your pant leg. The strap is specifically made to work with the Mr. Right packer, but also works with a Soft Pack which is a lot cheaper. However, from the reviews I've read, I've gathered that the soft pack may be more likely to fall out of a packing strap than Mr. Right.
For this review I enlisted the help of my awesomely handsome wife since she has a bit more packing experience than I do. And without further ado, here she is with her input:
I don’t often wear a soft pack. In the past when I wanted that certain bulge, I simply wore my packie inside my underwear. While it stayed put for the most part – though I had to take care to hold on to it when using the restroom – I was constantly on high alert for an embarrassing slippage accident. The arrival of the Aslan Leather harness was a chance to send my worst fears packing (yes, that pun was intended).
This harness was the first I’ve ever used. It took me a few minutes to realize that only the balls of the packie would be held by the harness. The dick was free to swing and sway until the moment I pulled up my drawers. While I liked the freedom of movement, I felt that without the support of the underwear, the packie might eventually fall forward out of the harness. A better design would perhaps include an elastic o-ring that could reign in the penis, as it is the major center of mass for my packie. A harness that simply holds onto the balls makes the whole thing feel rather top-heavy. However, the worry that I could eventually have a flop-out might have been paranoia, as I used the restroom while wearing it and was pleased to see that I no longer had to designate one hand to hold my detachable bits.
The waist strap was comfortable. It was a simple wide elastic band, and I was pleased to find that the size I received fit around my waist with almost no stretching of the elastic – it was snug enough to not move around, but loose enough that I couldn’t feel it once I was dressed. After dressing and spending a few minutes walking and jumping to test the effectiveness of the harness, I felt supremely confident that the packie would stay where I wanted it. I was able to go about my day and eventually forget that I was packing – at least until I caught my own reflection or the eye of my wife.
Overall, I found that wearing the harness was vastly superior to going without one. If you regularly soft pack, I would recommend picking up one of these if you don’t already have one. For those of you like me who pack very infrequently, the low price point makes this purchase easy on the wallet and definitely worth the cost.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
This week's condom review is for another latex condom: Beyond 7. I'm sad to report also that this will be the last of the condom reviews. I hope you all learned a bit about different condoms on the market and maybe even got the initiative to try some new ones out for yourselves.
The seductively designed packaging was easy on the eyes but a little harder to open in a rush. There was no tear mark or serration to go by so it was a little rough going, but worked. The roll-down was a simple thumb and two finger affair that all condoms should strive to achieve, but that awkward package prevents it from getting a perfect 5. Once out, like nearly all latex based condoms, you could detect the smell of rubber, but there was a pleasant blue coloring to distract you from it, or at least I can only assume that was the manufacturer's intent. The fragrance didn't translate too strongly to taste luckily and while the lube was slightly less than pleasant at first, it quickly washed away and left a taste-free surface. Sensation transmission was slightly above par, and the snugness around the base was a welcome tension that was pleasant and far from strangulation. If polyisoprene condoms are not
available, these would probably by my strongest recommendation.
Ease of use 4.75
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Today on Feministing they linked to an amazing article A Guy's Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced. The article describes what goes through a woman's head when a strange man approaches her in public. And I think it is a wonderful way of opening up men's (and even women's) eyes as to what women go through on a daily basis. And no matter how amazingly attractive you find a woman, there are certain circumstances in which you should never approach her. I have definitely been hit on when walking alone down a dark street before. Like HELLO!?!? Women constantly live with the fear of being assaulted and I don't think most men really realize that.
Which reminds me of a video that a friend of mine posted in his blog (really hope he doesn't mind the gank - I'll take it down if he does) which featured interviews from a Men Against Sexual Violence (MASV) conference that he put on in Chicago several months ago. Its a bit rough, but it has some very powerful moments. The moment that really sticks with me is at about 8:20-9:30. Love those guys!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The fabulous and talented Midori wrote a great article for Carnal Nation entitled 'How Herpes Saved My Life'. She talks about how contracting herpes led her to safer sex. She gives the usual downtrodden dirty slut story a spin into a wonderful sex-positive message and normalizes STIs. Its a seriously nice change. Because we've all heard the statistics about how many people have STIs and yet we still associate them with only dirty sneaky evil folks. How is that possible?
One thing to keep in mind though is that Midori does tell a very rosey tale and that won't be everyone's experience. So far she's had a couple of comments that have addressed that. I think it is important to note that there are many people living with STIs who have a harder time finding a mate. But I think its also nice to see someone who tells a story about how she doesn't give a crap about the people who turn her down.
Monday, October 5, 2009
This week's condom review is the Durex High Sensation. This is another latex condom. And a reminder, all of these condoms can be ordered through Early2Bed.com.
Another bright red package which could very easily be confused for the Max Love, it tore open but not quite as easily as the Max Love. It was of similar diameter to the Max Love, but that's where the resemblance ceases. The roll down was easy but not quite as easy. The smell was like the tire shop again, but this time without the flowers. At least it was a very pretty red! The taste was a little rubbery and the lube left an odd taste. The sensation transfer was fairly close to the Max Love, but this one actually out performed it with lube that wasn't quite as over slippery as the other.
Ease of use 4.5