Last Days of the Contest

Hey everyone just a heads up to let you all know that today and tomorrow are the last days to enter the porn contest so enter! Even if you entered already and didn't win you can enter again until you do. Its been super easy to win as not that many people have been entering so if you do it you have a VERY good chance of winning a free hour of porn.

Details about entering via Twitter
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In Which I Assess My Future

I've done a lot of thinking lately about what I want out of this upcoming move. Originally this move was going to serve as a vehicle for going to school out in the Bay Area. But I've really been giving this some thought lately. I realized that school wasn't really about furthering my education or widening my opportunities. I was using it as an excuse to stall longer and to network. Sure I knew I'd learn stuff, but I don't think school is really the answer right now. This is not to say that I won't ever go back to school, but for right now it is on hold. And lets face it, unlike undergrad, grad school is not that easy to get out of if you feel like you're not in the right area or school. I hate research. HATE IT! So why was I planning on going to a research university?

So I've reassessed the situation. I'm going to use this upcoming move as a way to start over in my life. I do not want to work in accounting. This was never my goal in life. So after Chicago, accounting is done. As long as I can get domestic partnership benefits through my wife's job I can do what I want! All things considered, this seems very possible for everything she does in the future as long as she stays in her field.

So what do I want to do? Well to start things off, I want to start doing phone sex/advice. I think I need to get back to my sex worker roots. And I need to make money. So I think that will be a good option for me. I'll even get a landline because I despise talking on my cellphone. They're pretty cheap these days through the internets. On top of that I want to get a part time job. Something in non-profit maybe. Definitely something that focuses on sex, sexuality, gender, and education. Hellz to the yes for rewarding jobs! These two things will keep me more focused in my field and hopefully allow me to be more productive with following my career path. I plan to keep up my blog, try to get speaking/teaching gigs, spend a lot of time writing (including my porno screenplay), and I would love to start making porn (writing, directing, and producing). Of course I don't expect everything will go perfectly as planned so I will take whatever comes along that looks like it will make me happy.

The bay area is still the best place to be doing all this in my opinion. There are just way more opportunities out there. However, because I no longer have the requirement of school I also don't have the total final say about where we live. The wife has been really limiting herself to where she'll be able to do post doctoral work by only looking in one place. Its still the number one choice, but there are other possibilities in other places where I may still be able to find community and inspiration. Seattle and Portland, OR are both somewhat on the table. But really, I feel like Oakland/San Francisco are the place for me to be. But we shall see what happens.

I feel really good about this decision. Bring on the future!

Holiday Wishlist

Okay stole this from Essin 'Em after I promised to fulfill at least part of one of her wishes. I figured, why not? Maybe someone will have something to spare that I want/need. And I'm happy to try to fill your wishes as well if you link to a similar post. If you are interested in fulfilling one of my wishes email me at garnetjoyce@gmail.com.

Step One
- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered…whatever you’re comfortable with) to your LJ or Myspace or Blog. The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just an email address at which you can be contacted by potential wish-grantors, real or imaginary.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your post, so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friends list/blogroll/RSS feeds (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list.
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true. Sometimes someone’s trash is another’s treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don’t want or a gift certificate you won’t use–or even know where you could get someone’s dream purebred Basset Hound for free–do it.

You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not–it’s your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just…wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special.

So here's what I wish for:

1. An e-stim starter kit. Midori suggested we give electricity play a try since it will cause pain without hurting my arthritic hands the way beating my wife does.

2. A second hitachi because my wife apparently needs one on her side of the bed too so she doesn't scare the crap out of me when she wakes me up in the middle of the night looming over me trying to get the cord over my head without waking me.

3. Free advertising/marketing advice for my blog. I just don't have the time, energy, or know-it-all for this stuff and I could really use some help. I'd love to get my blog out more so I can gain a larger audience.

4. I'd love a copy of Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink by Midori.

5. Book covers in different size so people can't see what I'm reading on my lunch break or my commutes to and from work.

6. A variety of flavored hot chocolates (bonus for white hot chocolate!) Noms!

7. Acupuncture: I've been meaning to try this for my arthritis, but haven't gotten around to it. Also, it can be pretty pricey. I know of a couple places that do it on a sliding scale though.

8. A recumbent stationary bike. Once again trying another way that I can exercise without hurting my arthritis. So many ways have failed me.

9. Awesome friends in the Bay Area that are in the sex ed/porn biz that can help me get started and who are just cool to hang out with.

10. A trip to Stockholm/London/Paris/Rome/Berlin etc. because I've never been out of the country and would really really like to travel Europe. I'd even be willing to start with Canada ;)

11. Women's black trouser socks. I swear no matter how many pairs I buy they all disappear soon after!

12. Giftcards to Target/Torrid/Amazon/Peapod/JT's Stockroom

13. A spreader bar ... If you know what that is I think its pretty self-explanatory.

14. A Lelo Gigi because she's so sexy and I really want to take her for a spin.

15. A pedicure at Nails.com. No, its not a website, but a nail salon in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago. They are the best though with their massage chairs!

16. A copy of a book that you think I'd really like.

17. A USB drive.

18. Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Rough Sex

Essin' Em Scavenger Hunt

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Flower Balm

Babeland recently sent me a small pot (1oz) of Flower Balm, which is a clit stimulator.

Now I've tried a couple clit stimulators in my day and none of them have done a damn thing. This can most likely be chalked up to the fact that I need a jackhammer in order to get off. Not that I'm complaining, because I love my jackhammer. Its just that those little nuances like rabbit ears and ticklers never did anything for me. So lightly mentholated clit gels don't tend to do anything either.

This stuff, on the other hand, I actually felt! Whoa! But really all I felt was cold. There was no special tingle or anything. I felt like there was a strong breeze on my clit even when my legs were together and in pants. It turns out that I don't particularly like this feeling although you may. I like my cunt to be a warm cozy place that is as far away from cold as it can possibly be. I had an idea that that was the case in the past when having a fan directed a little too accurately at my vulva, but not until I tried this product did I realize how strongly I felt this. I think I will now stick with only warming type products instead of cooling ones.

But seriously if the idea of a cold cunt appeals to you (especially on a hot summer's day) get this product! It actually works unlike all the other ones that say they work. But keep in mind that it does contain oils so it is not latex compatible. If you are using safer sex supplies with this balm make sure to use polyisoprene condoms and nitrile gloves.

It also made my tongue and lips go a little numb so I don't recommend it for oral sex.

Ingredients: Almond oil, coconut oil, beeswax, shea butter, menthol, peppermint oil, citrus essential oils, methyl paraben, bht, and ginseng.

If you are sensitive to any of the above ingredients do not use!

Porn Contest Now on Facebook!

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Porn Contest!

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The Tool Shed

I want to give a quick shout out to a sex shop that I visited on my honeymoon: The Tool Shed. Its located in Milwaukee (yes, I honeymooned in Milwaukee. Get over it.) and its totally awesome. I love feminist sex shops and when I travel I try to go visit ones I've never been to before. I'm kind of a nerd like that.

When I first walked in I was a bit taken aback by the fact that there was a dude behind the counter. But I soon realized that this guy was a very comfortable guy. No threatening or creepy vibes here.

The wife and I walked around perusing the wares and I got such joy out of fondling toys that my store doesn't carry and that I'd never actually seen in person. I want to try the SaSi SO BADLY!! The Tool Shed had quite a selection, carrying more vibes and BDSM gear than Early to Bed has. I was like a kid in a candy shop. Some of the stuff I found to be a bit odd and was glad that we don't carry it, but there were many other things that I wished we would carry.

After looking around for awhile I introduced myself to the non-threatening dude (I am horrible with names!) behind the counter. And this is where I probably annoyed my wife. We talked shop for like an hour. Yeah, I can just go on and on about sex toys. He told me about exciting new toys coming out and I told him they should carry my fave dildo in the whole world Ella by Lelo (Ellen on E2B's website).

And because I hate to take up someone's time and not buy anything, I bought my wife a pair of bicycle socks. I loved that The Tool Shed had a whole bunch of locally made stuff like socks, lingerie, jewelry, zines, and art.

So if you're in Milwaukee definitely hit up The Tool Shed for your sex toys or even socks. They rule!

Small Breasts- To Implant or Not to Implant

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Love U Parties- Ducky's Newest Venture

The amazing Ducky DooLittle just launched her own sex toy party company today! Check it out: Love U Parties. The site is well done and she offers products that I haven't seen other feminist sex shops carry. Things that just make sense and you have to wonder why others aren't carrying them. For example: the Sex in the Shower Foot Rest. How many times would that have come in handy?

The great news is that she's paying the consultants (people who sell the toys at the parties) a big percentage of the sales. That's big money and possibly a real career for some. I may consider doing it myself after I move to Oakland.

If you haven't heard of Ducky before you should check out her book Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered. There are a TON of quotes from me in that book. See if you can figure out which ones!