Saturday, June 7, 2008

Love and Friendship

A relationships question for you. One of my classmates in organic chem and I hang out quite a bit, and of course I've got a bit of an attachment for her. It came up today about dating friends and she said she didn't date friends, and I got the impression I fall into that category. Plus in a roundabout way she said she knew I felt that way. I know it's a long shot but is there anything you can suggest I do to possibly change her mind? What really sucks for me is it has been a while since I met a girl I liked for reasons other than sex, so maybe I just have bad karma.

It sounds like she was trying to hint at it nicely that she is not interested. A lot of women do that in hopes that their male friends will get the hint and lay off. Straight men will often complain that women always just want to be friends with them, but put yourself in a woman's shoes. It can be very difficult to find male friends that aren't always trying to get in your pants. It is difficult to find straight men who just want to be friends.

Can you convince her? I'm not going to say that it's impossible. I mean hell I didn't think that I wanted to date the woman who I'm now engaged to, but she worked her way into my heart and I am thankful. But really if you're going to change her mind its just going to be by acting how you always act with her. If she comes around she'll come around. There's not going to be much you can do to convince her.

In the meantime put your focus on other romantic conquests. There are lots of ways to meet people. There is internet dating, blogs, is a great resource for meeting people with similar interests, you could join a local club, go speed dating, if you have a dog you can take it for walks in the park (I hear that is a great way to meet women), or even have a party where you ask people to invite people that you don't know. The point is that you'll be looking for love elsewhere and if this other woman grows an interest during this time then great, but if she doesn't then you haven't been wasting your time and energy to try to convince her to take an interest.

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