Female Viagra

Dear Garnet,

I was wondering what your opinion is of the so-called "pink Viagra." Do you think that female sexual dysfunction and related disorders are best treated pharmaceutically?

Sincerely,
Curious in Indianapolis

Oh yay, rant time!

I think that in general our society is too quick to take pills in order to "fix" whatever they perceive to be wrong with them. Everyone is always searching for the little magic bullet that will somehow make them happy, thin, beautiful, ageless, healthy, and a tiger in the sack. It's just not going to happen. While medication has definitely done wonders for us, there are some issues that may be better solved with trying to figure out what the problem is and how to fix it without the help of pills. And sometimes it may be healthier to just take things on head on. For example, I'm amazed at how quickly antidepressants are prescribed for people mourning the death of a loved one. Mourning is necessary and taking pills to stop that process is not healthy in my opinion.

Anyways, back to the topic, Viagra and "pink Viagra." Viagra has done good for older men who physically are unable to get erections. But I feel that Viagra has also done a lot of harm as well in relationships. The book, The Viagra Myth by Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, talks a lot about this. Viagra is seen as this wonder drug that is somehow going to fix a relationship that isn't going so well. As if a hard dick is the solution to all intimacy issues. Sex stops being about connecting and starts centering only on the erection. The erection can even be a source of frustration when the man wants sex and his partner does not. Foreplay becomes less important. I'm not saying that this is the case for all men on Viagra and their partners, but it happens often. In fact, according to Dr. Morgentaler, 50% of men prescribed Viagra don't get refills. Viagra use can sometimes result in the end of a relationship. This can especially be true when it comes to men who don't even need Viagra in order to get an erection. What needs to happen is for these couples to talk about their problems with each other. Communication is very important. And if that isn't working then relationship counseling may be the next step.

Now pink viagra is a little different. Women have been being diagnosed with sexual dysfunctions for a really long time, but I don't believe that a lot of these dysfunctions are real. Our society is so phallic centered that many women who can't orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone often think of themselves as dysfunctional. Freud called them frigid. Women often need more stimulation, specifically clitoral stimulation. Not only that, but they need time to warm up. While quickies can be fun, many women really need to be wooed before intercourse can start. This wooing can even include chores taken on by her partner so that she has less to worry about and is more relaxed. I fear that if a Viagra-type pill for women comes out the average woman who needs to be wooed in order to be in the mood for sex will be considered even more dysfunctional even though in reality she is actually quite normal.

So in other words, what I'm basically saying is that instead of resorting to pharmaceutical solutions, couples should figure out what is missing from their lives and their relationship. They should communicate with one another to figure out why maybe she doesn't have as high of a libido as she once did or why she has difficulty orgasming and how these things can be overcome. Communication and experimentation are going to work a lot better than any kind of pill. And if you're having a difficult time communicating with each other then it is probably best to see a relationship counselor so that you can get help with communication. A lot of people rather skip this because its hard, but a pill is not the easy way out of a tough spot.