Monday, August 11, 2008

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I was busy celebrating mine and my fiance's birthdays which just happen to be only two days apart. This makes for a birthday extravaganza. Also, you guys haven't been sending me any questions which makes me sad. As much as I enjoy ranting I don't think that's all that you want to read about. So send me questions! I know that every single one of you has to have at least one question about sex, sexuality, and/or gender. Maybe you even think you know a lot about certain topics, but I may be able to add to that knowledge. So send me questions!

Anyhoo, on with my rant. There is this new adult website, Zivity, that is making the claim that their goal is to capture and share the beauty of women. They specifically say: "We want our photo galleries to be as diverse as possible. As such, we encourage women of all sizes, races, ages, styles to participate. We want women who are proud of how they look and recognize that beauty comes in many different forms." Definitely a very lofty goal and one that I totally agree with and support. However, upon looking at this site I find that the models are not really that diverse. Most of the women are very thin, young, and white. There is a sprinkling of women of color and a few women who I would call curvy and thick, but wouldn't even go as far as calling them chubby. There doesn't seem to be much of an age difference in any of the models I saw. They range from 19 to maybe early 30s. I would hardly call this selection diverse. Now it is a relatively new site so I am hoping that the photo sets will continue to become more diverse.

But then there's this whole other part of the site that I pretty strongly disagree with. Somewhere along the line people got the idea that only certain types of pictures of women can be empowering and can celebrate the beauty that is woman. And these pictures can never be explicit. This is not something I understand. If we are all being sex positive and enjoying the beauty that is woman, why oh why are explicit pictures deemed demeaning and exploitative? Is it somehow better if a woman keeps her legs closed and doesn't reveal her sexual desires? Is it somehow better if we claim it as art and not pornography because she is not having an orgasm, but is just posing prettily for our viewing pleasure? Now if the woman doesn't want to do these things for the camera that is totally up to her, but what about the women who feel that an expression of their beauty and their sexuality includes masturbating with a big dildo and ejaculating all over the place? Well Zivity won't allow for that. In fact their content guidelines specifically say "Because Zivity is focused on celebrating the beauty of women, photo sets on Zivity do not depict men, sex acts (including masturbation), death themes, gore, pets or other animals, child themes, or real or implied bodily fluids (blood, fake blood, etc)." If you want it to be more of a cheesecake site then say that. Burlesque is plenty empowering, extremely sexy, and completely cheesecake and I've never heard anyone say burlesque celebrates the beauty of women and that is why they don't have sex on stage. By saying that sex acts don't celebrate the beauty of women is to make the implication that sex somehow makes a woman not beautiful. And I for one think that a woman masturbating is one of the most beautiful things on this earth!

All that said, the women are beautiful and I think I have a bit of a crush on Sash (pictured above). For more pictures of the site and another take on it (that I agree with) check out Fleshbot's take on Or you could just apply for a one month free membership like I did and check it out for yourself.

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