Toys for the Honeymoon

Tomorrow evening the wife and I leave for our honeymoon. Now you may be asking yourselves, "What kinds of toys does a sex educator/sex toy reviewer bring with them on their honeymoon?" Because you know I have a ton of them, but only a couple make the cut. Some of them new and some of them old favorites that go on every trip. The above picture is what I'm pretty sure I've decided on bringing. From left to right starting in the top row they are:

Trojan Supras: The first non-latex condom I ever started using that have remained an old standby. Once these have run out though I will probably be switching to the polyisoprene because they are cheaper. The feeling of the condoms don't really matter that much to me since they are just used on dildos, but they have to be non-latex as I am allergic.

Frank: He's a cyberskin dildo that I love giving blowjobs to. I use honey dust to keep him lifelike instead of cornstarch so that he tastes yummy.

Durex Avanti: Again, just a condom I had lying around.

Hitachi Magic Wand: Like this one should be a surprise to anyone. Shouldn't you all own one of these by now? Seriously? Its the best. Nuff said.

Mr. Bendy/Silky: My second favorite dildo ever. This guy is made out of squishy elastomer and has a rod in the center that allows for a bendy good time. I use condoms with him because elastomer is porous, but its totally worth it. This is definitely my favorite strap-on dildo.

Orbit: One of the first dildos I reviewed back when I was just a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Still one of my faves! Although if I decide that I have too many dildos on the trip either Orbit or Frank will get cut.

Feeldoe Slim: High quality double-sided dildo that no romantic vacation can do without. Can be used with or without a harness.

Ella by Lelo: By far my absolute favorite dildo. And I know what I'm talking about; I own 14! This dildo is the absolute best for g-spot. Leave it to Lelo to only make one dildo, but have it be absolutely amazing.

Middle row:

Thigh Harness: This is a newer toy of mine that I'm trying out for Babeland. We've given it a few goes, but feel that in order to review it properly it needs to come with me on our honeymoon. Look for that review coming up soon.

Colore Moi Strawberry Body Paint: Yummy painting! Strawberries and champagne anyone?

Gun Oil: High quality silicone lubricant for some hot hot shower sex.

Maximus: My favorite lube. This stuff is waterbased and has the consistency of hair gel. I was finally smart enough to get a travel bottle that wouldn't get all over everything too!

Saturn: This is a small ridged waterproof vibe made out of a silky plastic. Super cheap and hopefully fun in the shower. Never used this one before, but picked it up special for my honeymoon.

Dirty Dice: Yes, I said Dirty Dice. Honeymoons are supposed to be for silly sex games damnit! And I've never played with these before so I thought they'd be a fun way to get into the play.

Buddy: A silicone butt plug that is a little on the smaller side, but not too small.

Tweezer Clamps: Because with all this sweetness there needed to be some pain ...

Silky Blindfold: Because sometimes its better if they can't see whats coming. Mwahahaha!

Bottom row:

Flower Balm: Another product sent to me to review. I've played with it a little bit and I can tell you this: The menthol definitely works on clits and lips! Look for an upcoming review after the honeymoon!

Heart Paddle: I don't know if anyone carries this anymore, but its a great lightweight wooden paddle that makes a great loud SMACK noise without hurting TOO much.

Vibrating Makeup Brush: No, I don't care about being discreet. Discreet vibes will not get me off. However, the vibrating brush is great for sensation play.

Non-latex Gloves: We are monogamous and therefore are definitely fluid bonded. However, I work in an office and get lots of papercuts. The pH of the vag being what it is, gloves often make things less stingy for me. Also, the lower amount of friction helps with my arthritis.

Vibe Harness: OMG I looked at this thing today when I pulled it out and I think it may be time for a new one. This thing is OLD!! We're talking, before this relationship old. But its my wife's favorite. Its like a part of her by now.

Oh just realized that in the top row is my Teneo Uno you just can't see it. Taking that too.

So there you have it! Should be a fun honeymoon. See you all next week.

Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex

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Packing Strap

Babeland recently sent us a packing strap made by Aslan Leather. A packing strap is used to keep the bulge in place by transmen, genderqueers, drag kings, and those who like to play around with gender (including just dressing up for Rocky Horror). Because the last thing you want is for your cock to fall down your pant leg. The strap is specifically made to work with the Mr. Right packer, but also works with a Soft Pack which is a lot cheaper. However, from the reviews I've read, I've gathered that the soft pack may be more likely to fall out of a packing strap than Mr. Right.

For this review I enlisted the help of my awesomely handsome wife since she has a bit more packing experience than I do. And without further ado, here she is with her input:

I don’t often wear a soft pack. In the past when I wanted that certain bulge, I simply wore my packie inside my underwear. While it stayed put for the most part – though I had to take care to hold on to it when using the restroom – I was constantly on high alert for an embarrassing slippage accident. The arrival of the Aslan Leather harness was a chance to send my worst fears packing (yes, that pun was intended).

This harness was the first I’ve ever used. It took me a few minutes to realize that only the balls of the packie would be held by the harness. The dick was free to swing and sway until the moment I pulled up my drawers. While I liked the freedom of movement, I felt that without the support of the underwear, the packie might eventually fall forward out of the harness. A better design would perhaps include an elastic o-ring that could reign in the penis, as it is the major center of mass for my packie. A harness that simply holds onto the balls makes the whole thing feel rather top-heavy. However, the worry that I could eventually have a flop-out might have been paranoia, as I used the restroom while wearing it and was pleased to see that I no longer had to designate one hand to hold my detachable bits.

The waist strap was comfortable. It was a simple wide elastic band, and I was pleased to find that the size I received fit around my waist with almost no stretching of the elastic – it was snug enough to not move around, but loose enough that I couldn’t feel it once I was dressed. After dressing and spending a few minutes walking and jumping to test the effectiveness of the harness, I felt supremely confident that the packie would stay where I wanted it. I was able to go about my day and eventually forget that I was packing – at least until I caught my own reflection or the eye of my wife.

Overall, I found that wearing the harness was vastly superior to going without one. If you regularly soft pack, I would recommend picking up one of these if you don’t already have one. For those of you like me who pack very infrequently, the low price point makes this purchase easy on the wallet and definitely worth the cost.

Condom Review: Beyond 7

This week's condom review is for another latex condom: Beyond 7. I'm sad to report also that this will be the last of the condom reviews. I hope you all learned a bit about different condoms on the market and maybe even got the initiative to try some new ones out for yourselves.

The seductively designed packaging was easy on the eyes but a little harder to open in a rush. There was no tear mark or serration to go by so it was a little rough going, but worked. The roll-down was a simple thumb and two finger affair that all condoms should strive to achieve, but that awkward package prevents it from getting a perfect 5. Once out, like nearly all latex based condoms, you could detect the smell of rubber, but there was a pleasant blue coloring to distract you from it, or at least I can only assume that was the manufacturer's intent. The fragrance didn't translate too strongly to taste luckily and while the lube was slightly less than pleasant at first, it quickly washed away and left a taste-free surface. Sensation transmission was slightly above par, and the snugness around the base was a welcome tension that was pleasant and far from strangulation. If polyisoprene condoms are not
available, these would probably by my strongest recommendation.

Ease of use 4.75
Sensation 4.00
Taste/Fragrance 3.75

How to Approach Women Without Being Maced

Today on Feministing they linked to an amazing article A Guy's Guide to Approaching Strange Women Without Being Maced. The article describes what goes through a woman's head when a strange man approaches her in public. And I think it is a wonderful way of opening up men's (and even women's) eyes as to what women go through on a daily basis. And no matter how amazingly attractive you find a woman, there are certain circumstances in which you should never approach her. I have definitely been hit on when walking alone down a dark street before. Like HELLO!?!? Women constantly live with the fear of being assaulted and I don't think most men really realize that.

Which reminds me of a video that a friend of mine posted in his blog (really hope he doesn't mind the gank - I'll take it down if he does) which featured interviews from a Men Against Sexual Violence (MASV) conference that he put on in Chicago several months ago. Its a bit rough, but it has some very powerful moments. The moment that really sticks with me is at about 8:20-9:30. Love those guys!

Herpes Saves Lives?

The fabulous and talented Midori wrote a great article for Carnal Nation entitled 'How Herpes Saved My Life'. She talks about how contracting herpes led her to safer sex. She gives the usual downtrodden dirty slut story a spin into a wonderful sex-positive message and normalizes STIs. Its a seriously nice change. Because we've all heard the statistics about how many people have STIs and yet we still associate them with only dirty sneaky evil folks. How is that possible?

One thing to keep in mind though is that Midori does tell a very rosey tale and that won't be everyone's experience. So far she's had a couple of comments that have addressed that. I think it is important to note that there are many people living with STIs who have a harder time finding a mate. But I think its also nice to see someone who tells a story about how she doesn't give a crap about the people who turn her down.

Condom Review: Durex High Sensation

This week's condom review is the Durex High Sensation. This is another latex condom. And a reminder, all of these condoms can be ordered through Early2Bed.com.

Another bright red package which could very easily be confused for the Max Love, it tore open but not quite as easily as the Max Love. It was of similar diameter to the Max Love, but that's where the resemblance ceases. The roll down was easy but not quite as easy. The smell was like the tire shop again, but this time without the flowers. At least it was a very pretty red! The taste was a little rubbery and the lube left an odd taste. The sensation transfer was fairly close to the Max Love, but this one actually out performed it with lube that wasn't quite as over slippery as the other.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 4.00
Taste/Fragrance 3.75