Condom Review: Lifestyles SKYN

This week's condom review is the newest non-latex condom on the market and by far our reviewer's favorite, Lifestyle SKYN.

Of all the condoms I've had the pleasure/displeasure of using, these are far and away my favorites. Non-latex based, they have no unpleasing smells, no awful taste, and to make an extremely long metaphor, if my penis were an ear on a phone and her vagina was a pin dropping, these condoms would have been sprint's landline service of the 1980s. The packaging is shiny making it easy to find at night, the serrated edges make them easy to open, and they roll on pretty easily. Try not to have much moisture on your boy pieces before rolling them on, because they will slip a little during vigorous thrusting. These are far and away my favorite condoms and carry my strongest recommendation.

Ease of use 5.0
Sensation 4.99
Taste/Fragrance 5.0

My Story

In light of recent events – specifically Dr. Tiller’s murder, federal marshals being removed from the aide of Dr. Carhart, and the ongoing violence focused on reproductive health clinics – I’ve decided to tell my own story. I believe that it is extremely important for women (and men) to come out and talk about how their reproductive health clinics have helped them and why they are a positive necessity in our society. We should all tell our own stories.

My story isn’t a pretty packaged story about how I was a victim of incest or rape. Not that these stories are ever pretty, but they are the ones that so often come to view when we are talking about women who need to be able to have abortions. The stories of innocence lost. The women who “deserve” to have a pregnancy terminated. What about the rest of us? We all need control over our own bodies.

I expect that a lot of people won’t agree with my decisions. And I also expect that there may be some backlash because of it. But I refuse to hide when the people who are trying to help women are being murdered.

I tell this story from a sex positive viewpoint; the idea that there is nothing inherently evil about sex. In fact there is a lot of good in it, but there are risks as well.

When I was 18 I was a typical teenager. I thought I was invincible. I thought that nothing bad could happen. And so, even though I knew full well what the consequences were, I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I was not a victim of abstinence-only education, I had comprehensive sex ed starting in 5th grade. I was also raised in a sex positive household where information about sex and condoms were always available. I did know better. But I was in love and the sex was fantastic.

What I didn’t know was that I was with a young man who was also extremely fertile, as many 18 year olds are. He hadn’t told me that he had gotten two other women pregnant before me. And he definitely should have known better. But we’re both to blame for what happened. A couple of months before my 19th birthday I got pregnant.

I had always thought that if I got pregnant before I was ready that I would have an abortion. It would be an easy decision. When it actually happened I was struck by how difficult the decision actually was. After all, this life had been created out of love.

After thinking about it for a few weeks though I knew that it was the right decision. I had not been planning on bringing a baby into the world and was smoking at the time. Not a great way to start a pregnancy. My mom, a very supportive woman in general, refused to support me emotionally or financially if I chose to have the child. My boyfriend whom I loved dearly, all of a sudden disappeared when I became pregnant. I had my whole life ahead of me. And even dedicating 9 months to pregnancy was a burden my body could not handle. The first couple months that I did go through were awful and I knew it would only get worse. My body has always had issues with health and pain.

I did not know how to go about seeking an abortion. I am so incredibly lucky that it all turned out as well as it did considering I was doing my research via the yellow pages and, being a broke teenager, cost was my main concern. Had I lived in the Bible Belt instead of a suburb of Chicago I’m sure I would have ended up talking to a crisis center that would’ve misinformed me about pregnancy and abortion. And in my relatively fragile state, that would have been very difficult to deal with.

Ten days after my 19th birthday my best friend took me to a women’s reproductive health clinic. There were lots of women with boyfriends in the waiting room. I was the only one with my best friend.

I don’t really remember much of that day except for having a difficult time peeing in the cup, accidentally stepping on a button on the floor in the operating room that made a loud noise, waking up in another room with my underwear back on, and my best friend taking care of me that evening (mmm Blue’s Clues macaroni and cheese). But it all went pretty well.

As the years went on I became pretty loyal to Planned Parenthood. I really wish I had gotten the procedure there, but I’m happy that it went well. Planned Parenthood has been there for me through thick and thin. They’ve helped me through condom breakage, STI testing, genital warts, pap smears, putting me on the pill to prevent pregnancy, and then keeping me on it to prevent ovarian cysts. They’ve been there when I’ve cried, they’ve laughed at my jokes, and they’ve been non-judgmental of my lifestyle choices. They’ve been like a really good friend to me. And as a good friend I’ve tried my best to give back as well. I’ve donated time and money to them. I ran the local college campus chapter of VOX (Planned Parenthood’s student outreach) and I’ve worked as an escort keeping myself between women entering and leaving the clinic and those who did not agree with why they thought those women were there. I will always support Planned Parenthood and I hope that they are always able to support me.

Condom Review: Trojan Supra

This week's condom review is the Trojan Supra, which is one of the few non-latex condoms on the market.

A non-latex condom, these seemed to, like most of the other alternative material condoms, transmit warmth and sensation much more efficiently. They came in an attractive shiny gold foil package which was thankfully easy to spot when navigating only by the moonlight coming in through the blinds. The package took a second attempt to tear open but still came open without TOO much trouble. They rolled on over the piercings with ease and didn't take any effort to roll completely down. The rubber ring around the bottom provided adequate grip to prevent slippage even through pretty vigorous activity. The units seemed to absorb moisture, but a couple drops of eros fixed that and it was smooth sailing from there out. The biggest upside to this variety was the complete lack of smell or taste. Being part of a monogamous couple who uses condoms only for their contraceptive properties, it's pretty important that an unpleasant taste not be left on the skin after use.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 4.0
Taste/Fragrance 5.0

Condom Review: Kimono MicroThin

This week's condom review is the Kimono MicroThin.

Despite being called MicroThin, and maybe even actually BEING micro thin, these units had the most godawful ability to absorb sensation and transport it into the ether, never to be felt again. I thought maybe on initial try, maybe a bad day was to blame, but on second try, my suspicions were confirmed. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that a secret ingredient in the condom formulation was cement. They
were a little snug which made me, being a guy of exceptionally medium proportions, feel pretty good about myself. Sadly, that's the only pleasant thing I have to say about the Kimono MicroThins. When we removed them for the final part of the review, they left a rather icky rubbery taste along with a smell that accurately foreshadowed said flavor. The packaging was a little thick, and thus harder to tear open, but they went on fairly smoothly. That isn't nearly enough to salvage them as a functional condom.

Ease of use 4.5
Sensation 2.0
Taste/Fragrance 2.5

All ratings are out of 5.

Best Lesbian Erotica 2009

Babeland sent me the newest in the Best Lesbian Erotica series recently. Now I have no experience reading the previous years of erotica and I'll admit that I'm hardly an avid reader of erotica in general because I do most of my reading on public transit. I really need one of those fabric book covers so I don't have to be embarrassed by the overtly sexual images on the cover. But given all this, I still have to say that I was a bit disappointed.

Sure the stories were often very hot. But there just wasn't enough variety for me. This was not lesbian erotica, this was butch/femme erotica. A lot of times I really felt as if this could have been hetero erotica, but instead of just saying cock they would add a descriptor like silicone or cyberskin. And while I love a good hot butch/femme sex story, I would really love to see more than just that. Give me some butch on butch love, some femme on femme, where are the genderqueers and the trannyboys? I NEED more variety! So call the book what it is: Butch/Femme erotica, not the best lesbian erotica of 2009. Because I am sure there are TONS of hot stories involving queer ladies of all kinds.

However, I must say that I did enjoy the fact that there were women of different ages,sizes, shapes, and colors in the book. And I always enjoy it when any type of porn or erotica references a sex toy that I have. In one story they used a Feeldoe!

One thing to keep in mind if you are considering this book is that it also has a lot of BDSM and some foot/shoe worship. If this is not your thing then I suggest skipping it. If it is your thing then there are definitely some really hot stories in here for you.

But for my money the hottest story in the whole book was the real one that Tristan Taormino shares in the intro. Hot damn! But then again when its real people really getting it on it just goes a lot further for me. That and Tristan is totally hot and smart.

Condom Review: Roomier One

I sent my male reviewer Clix a whole bunch of condoms from Early to Bed to test out and review. He did all the dirty (fun) work for you so you can just sit back, read up, and choose the best condoms for yourself based on his experiences.

Once a week I will add a new review of a condom he tried out and wrote up. This week's review is for Roomier One with the pleasure dome.

I'm not going to lie, I managed to pick this particular condom as my first to review because of the artwork on the wrapper (wrappers come in varying designs). The external imagery caught my eye, and the round shape was easy to pick out amongst the pile of squares. One of the key factors I've found in condom selection has been the ease of package opening. I was cursed with a penis that can lose interest rather quickly if steady stimulation isn't kept up, so if a condom isn't easy to remove from packaging and slip on in the heat of the moment, I run the risk of diminishing firmness. The requirement of continued stimulation also leads to a problem with condoms that fail to transmit adequate sensation and temperature. Luck was on my side with the selection of the One with pleasure dome. The package came open quickly, it rolled right on, and the rest of the testing began. The lubrication on the condom was just enough to enhance what was naturally in place without becoming too lubricated, and it managed to stay in place quite well. The roomier tip gave a little extra sliding sensation which when coupled with the fact that these guys provide superior warmth/sensation transmission provided for an extremely enjoyable romp in the hay. The taste/smell test offered some positive results, with there being little to no noticeable condom fragrance and a flavorless lube residue that dissipated quickly. My partner's response was positive as well, noting that it didn't feel too grippy during penetration and she was still able to detect the texture variations provided by my piercings rather easily.

Ease of use 5
Sensation 4.5
Taste/Fragrance 4.5

All ratings are out of 5.

Home for Lost Boys

An acquaintance of mine recently started a fabulous new erotic/porn site called Home for Lost Boys and you should all really check it out. She has a thing for pretty boys. We're not talking underwear models or Brad Pitt here. Specifically, she has a thing for boys who look like they could be girls. And who could blame her? I love a little gender bending with my sex!

She was disappointed at the availability of such erotic art on the internet and decided that the world needed to see her sexy vision of naked pretty boys. The site currently has 12 adorably sexy boys (One kind of looks like that dude from the Twilight movie) in different states of undress and also has a community forum where members can get to know each other and the models. I hear she's also looking for someone to write erotic stories about pretty boys. So give her a holler if you're interested.

Smart Balls

I'm always telling you to do your Kegel exercises so I figured it was about time that I reviewed a toy that is specifically used for that purpose. Babeland recently sent me the very popular Smart Balls and I gave them a try. Love them!

When I first opened the package I wasn't too psyched about the color they sent me, but I told myself that it didn't matter since I wouldn't be looking at them a whole bunch. Working my way to stronger orgasms is much more important than the color of the equipment I use to do it.

The balls are about 1.5" in diameter and are made out of elastomer with smaller weighted balls that roll and shake around inside. I found them to be a little large to insert when not aroused so you may want to turn yourself on a bit and use plenty of lube before you put them in and go about your business. And apparently many women who use these balls actually do go about their business at work, at home, running errands, etc. I haven't gotten up the guts to wear them outside of the house yet for fear of an extremely embarrassing moment. But maybe sometime I'll wear them out on a date. That could be a lot of fun.

So what you do with these balls is lube them up and pop them in your vagina. You can put either one or both balls in depending on your vagina size, comfort level, and muscle strength. Once they are comfortably in you can squeeze on the balls and even pull on the string in order to get some resistance. You can also practice pushing them out of your vagina.

So what makes Smart Balls better than traditional Kegel exercises without any equipment? I don't know about you, but when I keep flexing the same muscles over and over again I start to forget which muscles I'm flexing after awhile and start to flex the wrong ones. Its kind of like when you say a word over and over and it starts to sound less and less like a word ... kegel kegel kegel kegel .... You get the idea. Smart balls also allow you to step up your workout routine. You can flex your biceps as much as you want, but you're just not going to get big muscles if you don't add any resistance. And lets face it, Smart Balls are just plain fun! They feel good and many women report being in a slight state of arousal the entire time they wear them.

And really, I gotta say that they are great for masturbation. I like working my kegel muscles, but damnit I LOVE working them during masturbation. And these little wonders are no exception. You can't really move them around too much so they're not like a dildo, but if you use your hands or a vibe on your clit while squeezing and releasing on your Smart Balls it feels mighty nice. And what's even better is that when you orgasm, the muscle contractions cause the little weighted balls inside to shake, rattle, and roll into an extra special feeling. Try putting a vibe through the string of the balls as well. The vibration will carry through the toy.

The only thing I didn't like about this toy is that the string is stiff and kept tickling my leg during masturbation. Unlike a regular string, it can't easily be pushed out of the way. However, I wouldn't want a fabric string on this toy as it would harbor bacteria. So you gotta take the good with the bad and I have to learn to not be distracted so easily.

Lets go back to my distaste of the color of my Smart Balls. After using them for the first time, I looked at them again and found them to be beautiful. Beauty isn't just skin deep after all.

Orgasms After Child Birth

Hi, I'm 19 years old and just had my beautiful baby girl with my fiancee. My problem is that I have not been able to orgasm since I was about 3 months pregnant. Before I got pregnant the only way I could climax was when I was on top, and since recently getting the ok from my doctor to have sex again, absolutely nothing has worked. I've tried masturbation and clitoral stimulation, but neither works for me. I do not have postpartum depression, I'm not happy about my 30 lbs weight gain, but I am by no means depressed. Do you have any suggestions to help me?

First of all, let me apologize for not getting back to you sooner on this. I hope you aren't having this issue any more and that this will just be advice for those who are looking for answers now and in the future. But if you are still struggling with achieving orgasm now, maybe I can give you a few ideas.

I'm going to assume that you gave birth vaginally.

Pregnancy and childbirth can really screw with your system! It can take awhile for things to get back to normal down there and what is normal might actually end up changing for you.

Some possible changes that might be inhibiting your orgasms include hormones, change in vaginal muscles (weakening/stretching/tearing/etc.), change in level of libido, change in self-esteem especially related to weight gain, and just a general change in how things are working down there right now.

One of the most important things you can do for yourself after giving birth is to give yourself time. I'm glad you waited for the OK from your doctor as some couples don't and can actually do damage. But you also need to give yourself time to get back into the swing of things. Like I said before, pregnancy and child birth can really change a lot of things and sometimes that means relearning your body and how you receive pleasure and reach orgasm.

But don't think of it as a chore. I know it can be extremely frustrating to not reach orgasm in the ways you've always done, but try to think of it as a fun experiment to see what feels good now. If you can, try to not make orgasm your goal. Just enjoy your intimate moments together and try to find what feels just plain great. Eventually, you'll be able to figure out what brings you to orgasm now. Maybe even hold off on intercourse and just relearn how to use your hands and mouths on each others bodies. When you do get back to having vaginal intercourse, try new positions. Maybe even pick up a copy of a positions book. I like the Position of the Day Playbook because it doesn't take itself too seriously and because it has places where you can make notes on each position. This way you can remember what you liked and didn't like and what little changes you made to make it better. Spend time relearning your body on your own as well.

One big tip I can give you is to do Kegel exercises so you can get the muscles that actually contract during orgasm back into shape. Doing your Kegels while masturbating can often be lots of fun!

Another tip that may be helpful is to try to spend more time on setting the mood and focusing on foreplay. I know this can be extremely difficult when you have a baby, but it can go a long way in helping you to feel more sexy instead of fat and frazzled. For tips on keeping your sex life alive after having kids check out the book Sexy Mamas.

And remember, your body is going to change throughout your life which means that the ways you get off are going to change too. Try not to get frustrated with it and instead embrace the variety of life and the pleasure (not just orgasms) you derive from sex.

Masturbation Haiku Contest

Over at my favorite sex shop (Early to Bed) they're having a contest to win fun sexy things! All you have to do is write a haiku about masturbation. You can enter up to 5 haikus and the top 3 get prizes. They can be sexy, silly, fun, meaningful, sentimental, whatever you want! So head over to the Early to Bed Blog and enter for your chance to a win masturbation book, lube, a t-shirt, and/or a gift certificate.

And I get to help with the judging! So send in some good ones!