Buy Porn and Fight Inequality!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cock Rings

Hi! A friend just turned me onto your site and it's already been really helpful! But I noticed that you don't seem to have any entries about cock rings... I've seen some in stores that are stretchy, others that are leather, but what do you think is best? Also, I used to think that cock rings were just for keeping a man from cumming, but apparently there's more to it than that? Please, enlighten me!

Cock Curious

I'm glad you're enjoying the site and thanks so much for the question. To all of you readers out there, if you think there is something missing from my blog, please don't hesitate to send an email letting me know what you'd like to see more of.

Yes, cock rings can help to keep a man from ejaculating as soon as he might normally, but they also have lots and lots of other uses too! And they also come in a number of different materials from stretchy jellies and elastomers to rigid rubber and steel.

My boss over at Early to Bed recently made a video about cock rings so I figured that would be a great way to share the info you're looking for.



There are a couple things I would like to add to what she said. First of all, the leather vibrating cock ring she shows can also be used around the testicles as well as the shaft.

Also, a great beginner cock ring is this bolo tie style cock ring. It is really easy to put on and adjust and is pretty inexpensive. It is a great way for men to figure out if they like cock rings or not.

Finally, I'd like to add that there is one more use for cock rings not mentioned by my boss. Sure they're great at making erections last longer, making them harder, helping to delay ejaculation, and stimulating the clit, but they're also great for keeping condoms on. If you find that you have difficulty with condom slippage, cock rings are great for keeping a condom secure. This can be especially helpful with polyurethane condoms which often have slippage issues, men whose penises are smaller than average, and sex toys that don't quite have the size and shape of a penis but you would prefer to have sheathed for hygienic reasons.

As far as what I think is best, well I feel that is a matter of opinion. But I do stress that if the man in question is new to using a cock ring, he should use one that is easy to remove if necessary. So it should be stretchy, adjustable, or easy to cut off. Stay away from metal! I'd even recommend not using the rubber o-ring style ones right off the bat as they can be difficult to cut off if you're panicked at all.

"That's So Gay"

Something that drives me absolutely crazy is when people say "that's so gay" when referring to something they think is dumb. It is offensive and hurts me a little every time I hear it. I try to get people to stop, but I often find that they don't even understand why it is offensive. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way so it is great to see that there are now ads trying to convince teens to stop using the phrase. Check them out:

Door Jam Cuffs

Ever had fantasies about beating your partner into submission while they were strapped to a wall or door? Want to make those fantasies a reality without installing hardware that could put holes in the wall or lead to embarrassing moments when friends or relatives stop by? These door jam cuffs by Sportsheets may just be the answer!

Babeland recently sent me a set and I gotta admit that they are a lot of fun. You simply throw the plastic bars over or under the other side of the door, close it, and hook your partner in with comfy fleece lined cuffs. Unfortunately, a set only comes with two cuffs so you'll have to choose between ankles and wrists. I think wrists work just fine, but if you have a particularly fiesty partner you may want to purchase two sets of these so they can be secured properly.

Since the bars that go on the other side of the door are made of a pretty soft plastic there was no damage to the door at all, and believe me my partner tugged hard. The one down side was that there were a couple times when she tugged hard enough to actually open the door. So watch out for that possibility. Also, because of the nature of these, the person being strapped to the door really has to be shorter than the door or its no fun.

I don't know about all of you, but when I get my hands on bondage toys like these it makes my imagination go wild. I'm always trying to come up with new ways to torture my sexy little sub. I'm sure you'll come up with new fun things as well. And remember, because they require no installation, you can take them anywhere that there is a door!

Kegel Toys

So, I have heard time and again how important Kegels are for vaginal health. But I feel like there isn't much information out there about which sex toys help with Kegels, especially when it comes to pregnancy. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and am not high risk, so as far as I know there is no reason to avoid sex toys. While I know that you can strengthen Kegels without toys I would love to know what is on the market in various price ranges. Ideally a something that has more than just the propose of Kegels would be great. Do you have any ideas?

Yes, Kegels are super important! They are one of the best exercises anyone can do no matter what sexual equipment you were born with or have elected to have. For those of you who don't know what Kegel exercises are or how to do them, they are a way to tone your pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). The PC muscle forms the pelvic floor and when strong can help prevent incontinence, make orgasms stronger, and can help men to delay ejaculation if they desire. The way to flex this muscle is by squeezing the way you would if you were trying to make yourself stop peeing midstream. In order to figure out how to do it you can stop yourself from peeing a few times, but I don't recommend doing this regularly. The great thing about exercising your PC muscles is that you can do it anytime anywhere and no one will even know. You can do it at the grocery store, while talking to your boss, while pumping gas, while cleaning, etc. The possibilities are endless.

And you're right, doing them during pregnancy is a great idea. Having strong PC muscles will help you to give birth more easily by making it easier to push and lessening your chances of tearing during labor. You should also do kegels after you give birth as this will help get everything back into shape faster.

While exercise equipment is not necessary to do kegels, it can make it more fun. Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot of price range out there as you will need sex toys that are heavy and heavy materials tend to cost more money.

The cheapest option at about $28 would probably be Smart Balls. You insert one or both balls, leaving the string outside of your body like a tampon and you squeeze the balls with your PC muscles. For resistance you can pull on the string. While these can be fun, there is nothing orgasmic about them. Some people find them to be pleasurable, but there are other options out there that are more likely to get more of a rise out of you.

The other options I would suggest would be heavy dildos, often made out of stainless steel. These you can use during masturbation by inserting the dildo into your vagina and rhythmically squeezing your muscles around it towards orgasm. I highly recommend using a vibrator on your clit in conjunction with the weighted dildo. Here are some options of dildos that you can try, their weights, and their prices:
- Natural Contours Energie 1 lb $50
- Betty Dodson's Vaginal Barbell just under 1 lb $76
- The Kegelcisor just under 1 lb $84
- njoy's Fun Wand 12oz $88
- njoy's Pure Wand 1.5 lbs currently on sale for $91.80
- or if you're really hardcore there is njoy's eleven weighing in at 2.75 lbs and costing $300

These toys are all made of high quality materials so consider it to be an investment that will last a really long time. And while you can easily warm these stainless steel toys with warm water before hand, Betty Dodson (one of my heroes and the queen of masturbation and female orgasms) suggests starting with the dildo cold so that your muscles will automatically start to clamp around it. Also, be sure to use lube when using these or any dildos. All of these toys, with the exception of the Smart Balls, can be used with either water or silicone based lubes.

Oddest Searches September 2008

First of all, I'd like to announce that my blog is one year old now. I started it September 30th of last year and it is still going strong. Thanks to all my loyal readers out there. I couldn't do it without you, because well then I'd just be talking to myself and that gets old fast.

On to the oddest searches done to get to my website for the month of October. Here they are in no particular order:
- insertion of hard boiled egg into vagina (last month they wanted to see them popping them out and this month they want to see them being inserted)
- anal insertion of hard boiled eggs (apparently you folks like inserting hard boiled eggs in places they should not go)
- prostate screwdriver anal (yikes!)
- butt tribadism (is this where two people rub their butts together?)
- t (how anyone can search for anything with just one letter I don't understand)
- why do human males have nipples

Gagging During Cunnilingus

Hey Garnet,
I have an occasional problem when I start to go down on my girlfriend. There is nothing wrong about smell or taste, but for some reason, I get a gag reflex and can't continue. As you can imagine, this makes her feel self-conscious and I am just embarrassed. Do you have any advice?

First of all you two need to sit down and talk about this when nothing sexy is going on. Tell her that you love the way she tastes and smells and that you really like pleasing her. Then tell her that you don't understand why you gag sometimes and that it has NOTHING to do with her and everything to do with you. Tell her that you're going to try to figure out why this happens and that you need her help and understanding along the way. Even if she really truly understands that it is not her that is making you gag, she will still take it personally when you do gag because it is difficult to not feel that way. And so when it does happen you need to reassure her. Becoming defensive is the last thing you want to do.

What you also need to do is figure out why this is happening. This is not something I can tell you without knowing more. So you have to figure this out. What is different about the times you gag? Does it happen after eating certain foods or on an empty stomach? Does it happen at a certain time of day? Does it happen at a certain time in her cycle? Have you been drinking or doing drugs? What goes through your head right before you gag? Is there a possibility that it could be a strange side effect from any medications you're taking (believe me there are some really odd side effects out there)? Is your stomach feeling unsettled? Where are you emotionally? What is the state of your relationship when this happens? What were you doing earlier in the day? What has she been doing that day? Are there any feelings of jealousy or insecurity going on? When was the last time she bathed? Ask for her help in trying to figure out a connection.

You may find that there is a link. I actually have a somewhat similar issue when it comes to my own morning breath and oral sex. I cannot go down on a woman if I have morning breath. It doesn't make me gag, but it does make me feel sick. So I learned that if I want to go down first thing in the morning I have to get up and brush my teeth first and then everything is just hunky dory. It might be that simple for you, but it also may be more complicated.

I really hope you figure this out! And if you do then you can either just make sure to not go down on her at those times or figure out a way around it like I did with brushing my teeth. If you need to talk more about it let me know and we can talk privately.

Ella by Lelo

Lelo is a sex toy company that everyone should know about. They make high end sex toys that are just plain fantastic. They have mostly made and sold vibrators that are made of high quality materials, are rechargeable, and come with an unheard of one year warranty. Many of their toys are highly innovative, like the Mia which charges via a USB port. Not only all that, but they're also a Swedish company and if you know me, you know I have a longing for Sweden in my heart and quite possibly my loins. But what bleeding heart liberal doesn't dream of living in Stockholm?

Anyhoo ... When I found out I might have a chance to test out a Lelo of my very own I became downright giddy. At this point I think I can be called a collector of sex toys. I own LOTS. And now it is about filling in the parts that I do not yet have. This includes types, materials, and brands. I need to have sex toys from all the top sex toy companies: Fun Factory (check), Tantus (check), Vixen Creations (check many times over), Vibratex (check), Lelo (new check), nJoy (sadly no check), Jimmy Jane (sadly no check).

Now I could've gone the traditional route and gone with a Lelo vibe. They have a lot to offer, but I am a Hitachi loyalist so while I do still get new vibes, I wanted my Lelo experience to be as exciting for me as possible. Luckily for me, Lelo recently released their first dildo, Ella. Until a couple years ago I actually only owned one dildo and I can't believe it took me so long to become a dildo enthusiast.

Ella is number 13 in my collection and she gave me even more reason for enthusiasm. I didn't think it was possible, but Ella has actually topped the list. She is my new favorite dildo. Ella is practically perfect.

Lelo calls Ella "a dedicated pleasure object" and I would have to agree. If you love g-spot stimulation like I do, you'll love Ella. While most g-spot toys simply bend in one direction so that you get a bit of g-spot stimulation as that one small spot goes back and forth over the sensitive area, the Ella has a whole flat surface that curves upwards so that that same spot is stimulated almost constantly. The result is pure heaven and quite possibly some ejaculation as well.

But maybe you're not ready for some g-spot stimulation yet and you want to warm up with the old in and out first. Ella has that covered as well! You can use either side of her so you can use one side for times when you want dedicated g-spot stimulation and the other side for when you want penetration without so much dedication to just one spot. The one downside to a double sided dildo like this is that it is not harness compatible. Like I said before, "practically perfect." But she is absolutely great for masturbation and partner play.

Now while Ella is perfect for me, I have to remind you that all women are made differently. Size queens will most likely not like this dildo. It is particularly small. Even I found it to be a bit lacking at times when wanting to flex my PC muscles around something when on the g-spot side.

Now down to the nitty gritty:
Ella is made of silicone which means she is non-porous and body safe. Normally I would recommend boiling your silcone dildos, but the instructions that came with Ella warned against exposing her to extreme temperatures. And well, I'm not exactly open to the possibility of ruining my new favorite dildo just so I can tell you whether or not she is safe to boil. So just use soap and water.

Ella is great for vaginal play, but I would not recommend her for anal play as she does not come equipped with a flared base.

Lelo offers a one year warranty on all of its toys and while that is fantastic on vibrators that have mechanical parts, it isn't such a great deal on silicone dildos. Silicone is a material that should last a lifetime and companies like Vixen Creations actually give you a lifetime warranty. The one year warranty just doesn't do a silicone dildo justice. Oh well. Hopefully it will never become an issue.

But even if it does become an issue, Ella is actually the cheapest Lelo product currently on the market at $44. What a steal! For a company that makes luxury vibes that range in price from $64 to $1500, I was actually really surprised that their first dildo was so cheap.

In other news, I bought a new computer recently so updates should happen more regularly now. Thanks for your patience.

Hitachi Attachments

I have a question for you. Well, a few questions actually. Let me start with something simple.

I am in the Army Reserve and currently deployed to Iraq. Not long ago I got my wife a Hitachi Magic Wand. She doesn't want to use the head it came with to cum with. She says that's meant just for "normal" massages, like on your shoulders.

So, does the Hitachi Magic Wand require a special or separate head piece to use between the legs? Can the default head be cleaned? Could it be covered with something and still used as a sex toy?

The Magic Wand is like the best sex toy ever! So good job on buying your wife a great product. The Hitachi definitely does not require any different head pieces or attachments for it to work its magic. Because it is only used for external stimulation there isn't so much worry about the difficulty of cleaning the head because there shouldn't be too much danger of infection. To clean it you can use a soapy washcloth or an old toothbrush. Toy cleaner sprays or wipes can be pretty convenient for this toy since you really don't want to run it under water directly. However, there are attachments out there that are easier to clean. And as any hitachi lover knows, the only thing better than a hitachi is a hitachi with attachments.

If she only wants clitoral stimulation from her hitachi I would suggest getting an Off With Your Head which replaces the current head with a silicone one. Silicone is a great material that is non-porous and super easy to clean unlike the original hitachi head.

If she is interested in internal stimulation as well then I would suggest getting either a Gee Whiz or a Gee Whizzard. Both of them are silicone and fit over the original hitachi head and they both provide g-spot stimulation. The Gee Whizzard is just a bit fancier (extra bumps) and a bit longer than the Gee Whiz. Depending on how far in she goes with it, she should be able to get clitoral stimulation as well. Also of note is that both of these attachments can also work with the Ideal, which is like a rechargeable cordless version of the hitachi for when you'll be nowhere near an outlet. I've met camping lovers desperate to find a replacement for their hitachi when they're out in the wilderness and they are ecstatic when I tell them about the Ideal.

And please, keep those questions coming!

Naked Me!

Did you know I used to do porn? Well, it is true. One of the reasons I use the name Garnet Joyce as my pen name is because I refuse to hide from my roots. I never did anything hardcore, but there are definitely some sexy pics of me out there.

EroticBPM just reposted some pics of me taken for another website that is no longer. I'm glad to see these pictures have resurfaced. Check them out: