Stuck!

I was sent this video (Warning! NSFW) with the following question:

What should someone normally do if they get something stuck?

For those of you who don't want to watch the video the jist is that this poor woman inserts 4 golf balls into her vagina and when she tries to get them out the last one is stuck and she has a very difficult time retrieving it. Luckily at the end she is able to recover it and all is well. So what can we learn from this?

First of all, don't stick things where they're not supposed to go. Golf balls are not made to go in one's vagina and candles are not made to go in one's butt. Use sex toys for crying out loud! That's what they're for. Only insert things into your vagina or anus if they are specifically made for that purpose. Otherwise you're just asking for a world of trouble.

But even if you are doing what you're supposed to be and only using objects that are made for insertion, shit still happens. If you get anything stuck in your vagina or anus the first rule is Don't Panic! If you relax it will make things a lot easier. Just remind yourself that you can do this. Next go wash your hands so they are not slippery or dirty and then sit yourself down on the toilet or on the edge of the tub and bear down like you're trying to make a bowel movement. These muscles will help to push out whatever is stuck in there. You may need your hands to help as well as catching the object if you don't want to go fishing in the toilet.

If the particular orifice that the object is stuck in happens to be your vagina then you're in luck. It is very difficult to lose anything in there as objects don't have far to go. Relax, breathe, and push down and you should be able to retrieve it. Remember, gravity is on your side.

However, if the orifice is your anus, you will really have to make sure you stay as relaxed as possible. If you panic there is a very good chance that your muscles will work against you and push the object further into your anal cavity. This is why we ALWAYS use sex toys with a flared base when playing with our butts. Just make sure to breathe, relax, and push down. You should be ok and be able to get it out. When people panic they have to go to the ER to get objects removed from their butts. But remember that if you do have to go to the ER don't bother lying to the doctor. I guarantee you they know exactly why that thing is stuck up your butt.